Starcraft story (help me out a lil)

[coRtALoS]

--DELETED--

Didn't like where this section was going in the story.

 

[coRtALoS]

It's been awhile...

"As you can see, the Protoss intended to use this upgraded sensor array to direct the channeled psionic burst, while this which looks like a Terran design Transceiver would channel the energy from the Nexus to the Observer. I believe through some alterations, we could simulate this effect with a Comsat Station if we reversed the gravitational polarity of-"

Klyde began to trail off, a solomn look beset his face and his eyes glazed over to grey.

"Klyde. Please continue" said Zaren.

"Sorry sir, I just started wondering where Fade might be again."

Weeks had passed, and no one had seen Fade. Zeratul III had gone missing as well, and as of late, the soldiers were quite demoralized. The thought loomed over everyone's head that they could be the next one, never to be seen again.

Regaining composure, Klyde continued, "It would take some time to develop, but I think using some of the Protoss building designs left here by Zeratul III, we can create a structure that can harness psionic energy, similar to the Protoss, and test this weapon out in under 30 days, given the proper amount of resources and man-power."

"How many men do you need?" asked Zaren.

"I'd say 6 working on modifying a comsat center, 12 to create the other psionic tower, and Sarah to help with the designs. She, being a ghost and all, would have more intimate knowledge of psionic powers being channeled here."

"I'd be happy to help Klyde, however I was planning on requesting a week of sure-leave today. If I got an additional 6 workers, I can still have that tower up and running in the allotted time." said Sarah, turning to Zaren

"Very well Sarah, you may have your time off. I'll expect to see our demonstration ready November 7th then?"

"You can count on me sir" said Klyde "Now maybe we can get the retribution we're all owed"

 

[DoS_Zeratul]

Dont stop..gogogogogo and if i see 1 funny user messing with this story (shrimp) i will get mad lol.

 

[SmashBros.Pro]

As everyone was going along doing as they were ordered, Fade was going through an intense test. Array was preforming test on Fade to see if his race could withstand some of the technology the water-dwellers have developed.
"Where am I?†said Fade, “Same place you were before you passed out. We were preforming test on your body to see if your skin and body functions could withstand our technology.â€
Fade jumped up and said, “How long have I been here??†with a worried sound in his voice. “Don’t panic, it hasn’t been too long, unless Earth time differs from our time.†Fade paniced and said, “I have to get back to HQ now or else their gonna begin to worry.†This was confusing to Array, so he asked, “Why should you worry about them worring about you?†This question confused Fade slightly, but he understood it. Fade replied, “Our people will let their emotions become a weakness, while nobody would actually care if I was missing they would think something bad has happened and they would think that they are next.†Array looked as if he didn’t understand what Fade said, but he shook the look out of his eyes and said, “Who is it that trains your soldiers?†Fade paused and said, “I beleive he goes by the name of Robert.†“Well, bring him to me and also bring someone who is very well at Science and Pysics.†Fade looked at him for a few seconds then Array turned and said, “I’m not getting any younger, bring me Robert and your smartest soldier, I’ll be waiting here at this same spot.†So Fade turned and walked away.
When he finally got back to base it was dark and he went and woke Robert and Klyde up and told them to follow him. They made alot of noise at first until they realized it was Fade. “Don’t make any noise and follow me, It is an extreme emergency!†Klyde and Robert both shut up and they began to follow Fade into the forest. When they arrived at the lake Fade said, “Okay, were here.†Klyde and Robert looked around and said, “What was the emergency??†Fade said, “There was none, I had to keep you two quiet or else you would have woke everyone up-†Fade was interupted by Array “Are these the two?†Array asked. “Yes, they are.†replied Fade. Well you may leave now, I will do them no harm, I am intending to teach them how to become mobile inwater so your people can expand and hopefully rid the planet of the evil that has came here.â€

 

[Zmoney]

lol looking good for now

 

[Renzokuken]

Ok. I read about 1/8th of that. And from what i read. It ****ing rocks! Keep up the good work cORTALOS and SmashBros.Pro!
Hopefully Blizzard will notice this talent and take aboard this novel!

 

[Zmoney]

ya it rocks!!!!!!

 

[coRtALoS]

Returning to his base, Fade began to piece everything together.

"So the Zerg have been here. There's no way what's lurking out there could've been the product of simple corrupt Templa-"

Normally mute to the untrained ear, Fade's acute hearing alerted him of a distant twig snapping under too much pressure. Hairs raised on the back of his neck as his hands began to perspire, allowing him a better grip on his .50 Desert Eagle. He continued at his normal pace to avoid alerting the stalker of his knowledge. Traveling along the narrow woodland path, Fade neared a small clearing in the forest. The night sky revealed patches of distant constellations through the treetops and small puffy clouds raced along the black night sky.

The intruder was still near, however the footsteps had become muffled with more carefully placed steps. Scanning the area, Fade spotted a small hole in the clearing, about one and a half feet in diameter, and two feet deep.

Picking up his gear, he continued along his path, entering the twenty-foot clearing.

Passing the small hole, Fade saw a night owl frantically pass him overhead as he heard claws latching on to a nearby tree trunk.

Whirling around, Fade's Desert Eagle made solid contact with the left temple of the Protoss-Zerg hybrid. Knocking it back for an instant, Fade had seconds before the creature made another pass at him.

Fade's extensive training kicked in as his defensive reflexes brought him out of harms way, and allowed him time to fire two shots into the attacker's right arm. Injured, but not crippled, the hybrid swung at Fade again, searing the upper portion of his left leg with it's swirling red-black psi blade. The remaining forest animals nearby fled in fear as Fade's scream of pain echoed through the forest.

Fade positioned the small hole he had seen in the ground before, between the hybrid and himself, and poised himself to receive another strike. As the hybrid moved in on Fade, lured by his defensive stance, he fired a shot into the hybrid's left leg. Losing balance, the hybrid slammed it's right leg down, into the 2 foot deep hole, and broke it's ankle as it's foot stuck into the soft ground and twisted.

Falling to the forest floor, the Protoss-Zerg hybrid had moments to gaze into Fade's battle-hardened face before meeting eternity.

*BOOM* *BOOM*

Too tired to continue to the Terran encampment, Fade constructed a crude camoflaged shelter, and spent the rest of the night wide awake... ready for the sound of another snapping branch...

 

[coRtALoS]

Crouching under his shelter, Fade began to shiver as a light rain began to mix with the frigid wind. He had stayed up all night, his combat training refusing to release it's hold on his consciousness. It was around 4 AM, and he was preparing to head out for the Terran encampment.

He had used some twigs and small strips of his clothes to construct a crude brace for his injured leg. The wound was not getting better, and pulsated with pain just when it started to feel like it was getting better. Hobbling out, he heard a branch snap, however it was in the direction of the woodland path, and obviously not intended to be muffled. Hiding behind some bushes, Fade waited.

"They've been putting up quite a resistance Khorlis. More than anticipated, and this recent invasion by the Terrans has complicated matters. This one they call Fade has already been responsible for the death of one of our Fallen Templars. To make matters worse, the Dark Templar they brought with them, Zeratul III, has been spying on us. I can still feel him nearby." said Xal'Khath, a Protoss-Zerg hybrid.

Khorlis flexed his enhanced muscles as he refrained himself from killing Xal'Khath where he stood. His recent ill news as of late was testing his patience, and he disseminated negative propaganda behind his back to the other members of his tribe. "Xal'Khath will die" he thought to himself "... just as soon as these Terrans are dealt with." Continuing along the woodland path, Khorlis interlocked his fingers behind his back "I want you to organize a strike force of 7 of our finest warriors. You are to infiltrate and eliminate the Terran encampment in 3 days."

Xal'Khath brought both feet together, and stood at attention, "For the glory of the swarm" he said in a militaristic fashion.

"For the rebirth of the universe" said Khorlis, obviously continuing the salute.

With that Xal'Khath flipped his cloak around him and was gone.

Khorlis was standing just inches from the small hole Fade had used to disable the assassin the night before. Sizing him up, Fade guessed this creature was the final product of Protoss-Zerg hybrid transformation.

Khorlis stood over 11 feet tall, weighing well over half a metric ton. His entire body seemed to be nothing but muscle covered by an exoskeleton. He had two sets of arm appendages, the lower two being Protoss-like arms and hands, and the upper half two deadly claws measuring a good 6 feet. His knees were reversed showing he was capable of running at fanatic speeds, and the Khaydarin crystal on his forehead eminated a red-black aura. Clearly this creature was strong of both mind and body.

Fear suddenly struck through Fade's entire being as he found Khorlis staring straight at him. "Can he see me? Did I make too much noise?" A million questions flashed through Fade's mind as he began to frantically find some way to get away from this beast.

*BANG* *BANG* *BANG*

Fade saw Khorlis take two shots to the torso and one to the head, breaking his concentration on Fade. Further up the road, Sara had seen Khorlis as well, and did the only thing she could think of to provide a distraction when she saw he had spotted Fade.

"Run!" yelled Sara as she aimed her C-10 Canister Rifle at Khorlis and fired two more shots. "He's not gonna go down from this piece of sh!t!"

 

[coRtALoS]

Also, thanks for the positive feedback renzo and simpleplan.

This is basically the thread I go to when I'm listening to good music and wanna escape the hell of the real world.

 

[SmashBros.Pro]

Sorry I haven't been adding anything. I've been having problems with my PC, I'll hopefully have it fixed before Christmas, but til then you want see me on the boards as much. Right now I'm at my aunts house so thats why I was able to post this.

 

[Zmoney]

i really think this story rocks send it to blizzard!

 

[coRtALoS]

*BOOOOM*

Sara fired her grenade launcher as Khorlis made his way toward her. The ground flew into the air as the concussion knocked Khorlis's balance off slightly. Seeing this opportunity, she loaded another grenade and fired, aiming for his left knee.

*CLICK*

*CLICK*

Sara's body froze as Khorlis's hold on her mind began to take over. A blood curling scream came from Sara as Khorlis forced his will upon her. "Fade! Run!" she managed to blurt out before Khorlis took full control of her body.

Unable to resist any longer, Khorlis directed Sara's Canister Rifle toward the retreating Fade, who was having difficulties running with his injured leg.

*BANG* *BANG*

Fade heard the gunshot, but it seemed so very far away. Suddenly he wasn't running anymore. He was back home, on Earth II. His little sister, Kiara, was playing on their swingset back in New Seattle, and he was 8 years old. The smell of factory processed, chemically treated hamburger could be smelled as dinner was almost ready. Looking up, the sky was just as he remembered at his old home. The smog mixed with the retreating sunlight cast dark magenta streaks across the enormous skyline. Fade blinked, and everything dissapeared. He was standing next to Zeratul on the Norad IV in deep space.

"Am I d-" Fade started.

"No, you're not dead Fade." said Zeratul "You are the first Terran to receive Protoss implants, you are experiencing something Array and his tribe had never expected. You are in a state of Al-Kath which translates to 'Holy Trance' in your language."

Obviously still unsure of what was going on, Zeratul continued, "Your subconscious sensed that you were in mortal danger. As part of all Humans primary drive of self-preservation, you have entered this trance, what you chose to do with this time is up to you. This time is limited though, and could end at any moment."

"How do you know all this?" Fade asked.

"I am not the Zeratul you know Fade. I am your subconscious. I took a form you would recognize and trust to help you understand."

Zeratul began to fade away as he finished. Desperate for more answers, Fade dove at Zeratul, "No! Come back! I have more que-" With that, Fade returned to reality. Everything that had transpired occured in the blink of an eye, and the bullet resumed for Fade's head. Caught off balance by the sudden return to reality, Fade fell to the forest floor, the bullets grazing his face, however not hitting.

Khorlis, seeing the bullets strike blood on Fade's face, assumed a killshot and turned to Sara. "Normally I would choose to kill you where you stand, however my injuries will take some time to heal. In retribution, I think we can find some, other uses for you." Khorlis said, a twisted smile came across his face. "Yes, she will make the ultimate species" Khorlis thought. "A Protoss-Terran-Zerg hybrid..."

 

[coRtALoS]

I also want to add that you guys are welcome to join in and write something. It doesn't have to be as long as the stuff myself or SmashBros.Pro, even if it's just a few sentences, just try to keep it on the same track that we're making the story go. Usually when I plan on killing someone off or whatever, I'll PM SmashBros to make sure he likes the idea. Communication is important in making good cooperative stories. If you're unsure you like what you've typed, feel free to even PM it to me or SmashBros.Pro. We're pretty cool people so we'll check it out and give you our feedback, however the point of this is using other people to provide twists too.

We get tons of Views on this story, someone out there must have thought of something they want to add on.

 

[Renzokuken]

I would...but. There are reasons why i can't/shouldn't.

- I would have to read the whole thing, which i can't be bothered to do. I don't really have the time (sorry!).

- I'm not all that good a writer. I'm ok. But you two are better and i don't want to wreck it. (If i aint broke, dont fix it!)

And that's about it. Good luck and keep writing!

 

[coRtALoS]

How about any suggestions? Maybe we can try to make your ideas come to life =)

 

[Renzokuken]

First i have to read it. I'll PM you about some suggestions.

 

[Zmoney]

ill have to read it al the way thruogh first which might take my a couple days to find the time i have only read the first 5-6 pages
but anyways as soon as i do ill send u suggestions
but so far its great

 

[coRtALoS]

Continuing on...

Fade came to consciousness 20 mins after the skirmish. His head swelled with pain as he moved himself off the rock he had hit his head on after falling. His thoughts immediately went to Sara, and he propped himself against a treebase, scanning the area for her or Khorlis. No sign of either. Taking his time to regain his composure, Fade came to the forest pathway. Footprints showed the two had come face to face, then seemed to vanish.

Fade remembered what Khorlis had said before being spotted by Khorlis, "You are to infiltrate and eliminate the Terran encampment in 3 days". That gave him 2 and a half days time to get back to base and warn his friends of the attack. "But what if Khorlis suspected I overheard them? Will he attack sooner?" Panic overwhelmed Fade, and before he knew it, he was sprinting back to the Terran base. His heart pounding, he didn't realize his leg felt completely healed until the next day, when he reached the outskirts of the Terran base.

He knew the scouts securing the base perimeter had alerted the base of his presence, and was met by a squadron of 15 Marines before entering the forest clearing of the Terran base.

A baffled look seemed to beset the Marines as they stared at Fade. He realized he hadn't looked into a mirror in weeks and probably looked like hell. Everything seemed to have such clarity he didn't remember before leaving the base. The buildings seemed to have many more flaws than he had noticed before. The grass glistened brighter than ever, and he could sense fear seeming to eminate from the Marines. They held their guns at the ground, but Fade could tell they were ready to draw their weapons on him if he made any sudden moves. From the corner of his eye, Fade saw Zaren headed towards him. He was accompanied by two Ghosts, and four Marines.

"Who are you" said Zaren. Fade was shocked, it was as if Zaren didn't even remember him. "What are you talking about Zaren? It's me, Fade."

"Do you honestly think Terrans are stupid enough to fall for that again?" replied Zaren. The Ghosts on either side of him drew their weapons and aimed for Fade's head.

"Zaren, what the hell is going on here?" said Fade, assessing the situation. 'Words may not diffuse this confrontation' he thought.

"Let me refresh your memory if your superiors haven't already informed you." Zaren said "One of your agents, disguised as Sarah came in here last night. She disabled the perimeter defenses, took out our scouts, and allowed a small force of assassins to infiltrate our base. They killed most of our officers and mechanics. An attempt on my life was already made, and they almost succeeded." said Zaren as he removed his cloak from his left shoulder. Bandages covered his entire torso, however something was wrong. Fade gasped as he saw Zaren no longer possessed a left arm.

"I'm too late?! I came here to warn you of the attack Zaren, if you'll just let me exp-"

"ENOUGH! The real Fade has been missing for weeks in the forest, and you expect me to believe that you would have survived that long with no food or backup?" turning to the Ghost on his left, Zaren whispered into the soldier's ear. "... outside base... shoot... hide..." was all Fade could pick up, but he didn't need to ask what Zaren had said to assume what the orders were.

Breaking free of the Marines holding his shoulders, Fade reached for one of the Marine's assault rifles. A flash of light blinded him for a moment as he suddenly found himself outside of his body, looking at the marines temporarily surprised by his actions. Everything was frozen, however he could see how this would all end. Fade could see a flash already sparking from the Canister Rifles of the two Ghosts. His life would end milliseconds after this trance ended.

"I never wanted this. I've done nothing but help these people, and they turn their backs on me so quickly?! First I lose Sarah, then the one group of people I thought could help me are about to kill me?!? I knew I never should have returned. My people are too brash, too ignorant to ever understand the hells I've gone through to try to help them. Fuc|< it. Fuc|< them, this mission, and the people on Ear-" Fade didn't realize it, but as he was becoming more and more frustrated, a redish/blue aura had begun spiraling around his body. Objects became warped and twisted, and as he continued, the aura became stronger.

Before he finished his last sentence, the trance ended, and he was rushing at the Marine again. With a surge of raw psionic energy, the aura exploded around him, knocking everyone to the ground and pushing them 3 meters away. The bullets headed for him were deflected, and sent into the forest. The ground below him formed a crater as the compact dirt absorbed the shock, and what sounded like an explosion, echoed through the forest for miles.

All eyes were directed at Fade as he collapsed to the ground. His head was pounding harder than ever, and the Protoss implants seemed to multiply the pain he felt from the sudden release of psionic energy from his body. Losing consciousness, Fade uttered "Sarah... in danger..." before reality became a dream once again...

 

[coRtALoS]

To everyone that reads this thread,
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I hardly remember what was written at the beginning of this story. In fact, when I need to use a character's name, I'll usually have to go back to the first page to find it in SmashBros.Pro's intro. Usually I'll read the last 1 or 2 posts before writing more on this, and if I had planned on resuming on something I or SmashBros.Pro wrote awhile back, then I'll go back a page or two.
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Reason for all this babble? You don't need to read everything that's happened to post your suggestions. If you have a pretty good idea of what's going on right now, then feel free to post positive and negative feedback. Just giving support makes us want to write more, and negative stuff makes us look at the story from a different point of view, and allows for change. Chaynge iz g00d.