What. The ****. Is Wrong. With. This. Guy.

[Laharl]

I just finished watching Eragon. All I can say is that it's easily the worst written piece of shit I've read or seen in years.

It makes me want to gut the author, then blind myself just to stop my eyes from burning in pain. Then repeat with my ears. To get the awful acting out fully.

Then you have the twisted, crappy take on dragons. ARGH. It's maddening how anyone can manage to write such FILTH and have it published by mommy and daddy.

 

[Arkillo]

So what you're telling me is that the only thing wrong with the movie/book was they got the DRAGONS wrong?

You know, mythical beasts that arn't actually real and have no real "this is what they are like" thing?

K.

 

[ChrisH36]

Christopher Paolini, the writer of Eragon isn't a GOOD writer, he is just a writer.

He was homeschooled at the expense of his parents, who own the publishing company THAT PUBLISHED Eragon in the first place. They didn't give it some time to read over what he wrote because they were his parents and the editors who say it was crappy would have gotten fired the next day.

Its book is really a Star Wars knock-off with a LOTR world. It starts off with Eragon's farm getting turned to dust and he goes meets the storyteller who gave him the rock, which is the egg.

Oh wait. Star Wars IV did this. Except it was Obi Wan Kenobi and Luke after Luke left his abusive "parents".

Also, he picks up an unconcious woman and saves her, same with how Luke finds Leila.

Eventually, it continues to an empire where the first trainer gets killed. Like how Obi Wan dies to Darth Vader. Then he seeks guidance from another Dragon Rider, except he is an Elf; not a 2 foot Jedi master.

As for the races, it was completely derived from the world of LOTR. But I don't blame him there, D/D and some other worlds copied that idealism, but at least they had some success. Even Wc3 was more successful, and its lore according to Root was crap.

Next, real dragons don't evolve from little to large in minutes. That takes hundreds to thousands of years to happen, Eragon would have been dead before the story begun. And he doesn't even explain how it happens.

Oh and don't get me started with that piece of shit movie. Bad acting, commas = periods in speech, Saphira has feathers (when the book clearly stated what Saphira's scales and wings are made from). bad costumes, more Star Wars cliches, and a more retarded storyline. No wonder why it got 21% at Rotten Tomatoes. Hell, Dream_walker reads this book, and even he hated the movie.

The game was bullshit too; it was really a crappier version of the LOTR: Return of the King, and I enjoyed that game as a rental.

I for one would have gone back in time and beat Paolini with a stick. Seriously, its not hard to come up with a non-derivative storyline, Mr. Neo-Bauman (ebaumsworld reference). I would have to say that Eragon is really just a crappy fan-fic with made up people.

 

[Laharl]

What I had wrong with it was inferior, crappy acting. Garbagey storyline. Awful costumes that I could surpass while drunk off my ass.

Idiotic concept. Idiotic characters. All together there was nothing I liked about that pathetic movie.

Now for your moment of hilarity: Dragon eats a rat. One meal. Dragon grows to fully grown size. Dragon suddenly gains dozens of years of wisdom. In five seconds.

Wonder how stoned HE was.

 

[ChrisH36]

Either that, or it must have been a super breed of Rat.

 

[Wing Zero]

all that movie is good for is shitty sword replicas that people want to buy where my work

 

[Emperor Pan I]

Luke's Aunt and Uncle Weren't Abusive. His aunt was obviously kind and looked out for him. his Uncle was a portrayed as a prick because he wanted luke to stay and not run off.

 

[PauseBreak]

Moisture harvesting isn't an easy thing to do.
No wonder why Luke wanted to leave and become a Jedi. I mean, who wouldn't want super cool powers? Like lasers, and death beams, while riding around super cool X-wings and land speeders while Tuskan Raiders try to kill you but really killed off your Fathers family and then were killed by your Father who is the super cool ruler of ALL THE UNIVERSE!!!! Yeah, I'd like to be a Jedi.

 

[Arkillo]

Way to rip from XPlay.

 

[Renzokuken]

Eragon is clearly the greatest movie ever.

 

[Jimbo]

With all the hype it had it, of course it's the best movie ever.

wtf is your name on wow too cause i forgot it and i cant mail you gold unless i know your name =[

 

[Arkillo]

Speaking of, I hope you guys realize the reason the parents had it made so quick was because they knew he would get rich as shit with it. Which they did.

 

[Vadriel]

What I had wrong with it was inferior, crappy acting. Garbagey storyline. Awful costumes that I could surpass while drunk off my ass.

Idiotic concept. Idiotic characters. All together there was nothing I liked about that pathetic movie.

Now for your moment of hilarity: Dragon eats a rat. One meal. Dragon grows to fully grown size. Dragon suddenly gains dozens of years of wisdom. In five seconds.

Wonder how stoned HE was.

Wasn't that the movie with the freaky-deaky shadowbatray thing?

 

[ChrisH36]

It was the movie about the boy and his dragon, doing what Luke Skywalker does long, long ago in galaxy far far away.

@Pan: Yeah I just realized that, I haven't watched the movie in god knows how long.

 

[Emperor Pan I]

On first viewings when i wwas younger i always did think his aunt and uncle was great they were killed as it freed luke, but when i look at it now they weren't like opressive or anything, they let him learn to fly and stuff, his uncle just didn't want them to leave.

 

[Laharl]

The reason why the movie/book sold?

Because people are idiots

 

[Arkillo]

From waht I understand, the books arn't really that bad.

 

[Emperor Pan I]

See what some people need to understand is two things. First off the author was fifteen when he wrote the books, and they were written not to be published at all. Of course they were rewritten and edited afterwards to be published, they are not written by an experienced writer. The movie itself wouldn't be aimed at anyone but children anyways, so why bother analyzing it like it should.

 

[ChrisH36]

Well, it may be for children, but there are teens who do watch and/or read it. And I am aware of the fact that he wrote it when he was 15.

I am just not a fan of it because I have seen Star Wars and I read/watched LOTR. The deprivative nature can easily be seen. And Eragon should have never gone beyond the book.

 

[Laharl]

I analyze it because I expect qualities. And the obviously prepubescent minded person who wrote that book insults dragons heavily through that sack of shit.

In it dragon's are their "Rider's" bitches. For that I should make him into a wiggling blue worm.