jd-inflames
Melodic Murderer
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2003
- Messages
- 6,014
- Reaction score
- 6
- Location
- My Sanctuary
- Website
- www.cursedprophets.com
ok, heres an autobiographical sketch:
Three Road to the Better Life
The best way to describe my life is an old country road, curved and twisted. It doesn’t make sense even now. I think the true start of it all was when I moved to Kentucky. I was nine years of age at that time and I had no clue who I really was. Back then, I had real problems with my anger, not to mention I was always having problems at home. I would constantly get in trouble, no matter where I was. This was because I would snap back whenever opportunity struck. I was in counseling and various forms of therapy all of my childhood. Then, for some strange reason, a man named Troy stopped at my house.
Troy was a recruiter, so to speak, for Salem Baptist Church. I would say that this church was the first turning point in my life. This is where I learned a lot of the morals I still carry today. It was also the first place I ever truly felt at home and respected. In those days, I was the most religious 12 year old you have ever seen. I would constantly preach to people, I would pray, I read the bible; I was active in church and even played trumpet a few times there and was welcomed into the adult choir. Not only did this church change my life in one of the best ways possible, but it also sent me downhill.
One night I was staring at the sky, mesmerized by the stars. That night I decided to follow god’s path, and worship Jesus, the whole thing. I was truly ready to be baptized. The following morning I went into the pastor, Brother Derek’s office. To my dismay he disagreed with me and even talked to my father about it. I think that moment really tore me in two. This was the day I really thought about religion and thought about hard evidence versus hope and faith. That day I quit believing in god altogether. And the next few years I discovered dark facts about myself that I never needed to know.
It was my first year in High School. I had made a large collection of new friends, probably the wrong kind of friends, but people to spend time with nonetheless. During these years, I had discovered that I suffered manic depression. Cutting my arms and cutting my wrists and burning myself was an everyday thing almost, I just enjoyed seeing myself bleed. I even learned how to deal with the pain to a point that I enjoyed it. Then I turned to drugs. I wouldn’t spend more than a day being sober, and when I was, I couldn’t stand it. Years passed and nothing changed. I was still going to counseling and therapy, but nothing helped. One day I showed up to Mrs. LaRue’s class with two very serious third degree burns on my wrists. The flesh was charred and actually melted off. Like any good teacher, which Mrs. LaRue was, I was sent to the guidance office with a red flag referral. My mom and I spent about 5 hours being tested and reviewed in Ten Broek Mental Hospital. Because this was a reoccurring event and I wasn’t sure I could stop, I was admitted. I spent 8 days in lock down, and even had to spend a night in a straight jacket in a padded room. I was in there to the point that my body had accepted my new medication, Zoloft. When I got out, I felt like a brand new person. I wasn’t happy; I was more or less like a zombie. I couldn’t feel, couldn’t hurt, couldn’t love, all emotions were completely wiped. I was like this for close to a month. After that point, I finally found out how to deal with my depression, and for the most part I can deal with most problems I face. After this point, I made a new set of friends, a set that would put me back on the right path, one to succeed myself.
In my junior year, I was completely clean of any drug or depression. I started going to LAN Parties, or parties where I could set up my computer and play games all night. At this point, these parties, and these new friends taught me a lot about who I am, and also showed me a few extra skills that I had locked away inside myself. I found out who I was, and who I was meant to be, and I needed to do to become who I want to be. It took me an extra two years to get my life straightened out, which brings me to the present. Now I am happy and have many good things going for me. The rest of my life is fulfilled, and I am happy to say now that if I didn’t have such a rough adolescence, I wouldn’t be where I am now.
Three Road to the Better Life
The best way to describe my life is an old country road, curved and twisted. It doesn’t make sense even now. I think the true start of it all was when I moved to Kentucky. I was nine years of age at that time and I had no clue who I really was. Back then, I had real problems with my anger, not to mention I was always having problems at home. I would constantly get in trouble, no matter where I was. This was because I would snap back whenever opportunity struck. I was in counseling and various forms of therapy all of my childhood. Then, for some strange reason, a man named Troy stopped at my house.
Troy was a recruiter, so to speak, for Salem Baptist Church. I would say that this church was the first turning point in my life. This is where I learned a lot of the morals I still carry today. It was also the first place I ever truly felt at home and respected. In those days, I was the most religious 12 year old you have ever seen. I would constantly preach to people, I would pray, I read the bible; I was active in church and even played trumpet a few times there and was welcomed into the adult choir. Not only did this church change my life in one of the best ways possible, but it also sent me downhill.
One night I was staring at the sky, mesmerized by the stars. That night I decided to follow god’s path, and worship Jesus, the whole thing. I was truly ready to be baptized. The following morning I went into the pastor, Brother Derek’s office. To my dismay he disagreed with me and even talked to my father about it. I think that moment really tore me in two. This was the day I really thought about religion and thought about hard evidence versus hope and faith. That day I quit believing in god altogether. And the next few years I discovered dark facts about myself that I never needed to know.
It was my first year in High School. I had made a large collection of new friends, probably the wrong kind of friends, but people to spend time with nonetheless. During these years, I had discovered that I suffered manic depression. Cutting my arms and cutting my wrists and burning myself was an everyday thing almost, I just enjoyed seeing myself bleed. I even learned how to deal with the pain to a point that I enjoyed it. Then I turned to drugs. I wouldn’t spend more than a day being sober, and when I was, I couldn’t stand it. Years passed and nothing changed. I was still going to counseling and therapy, but nothing helped. One day I showed up to Mrs. LaRue’s class with two very serious third degree burns on my wrists. The flesh was charred and actually melted off. Like any good teacher, which Mrs. LaRue was, I was sent to the guidance office with a red flag referral. My mom and I spent about 5 hours being tested and reviewed in Ten Broek Mental Hospital. Because this was a reoccurring event and I wasn’t sure I could stop, I was admitted. I spent 8 days in lock down, and even had to spend a night in a straight jacket in a padded room. I was in there to the point that my body had accepted my new medication, Zoloft. When I got out, I felt like a brand new person. I wasn’t happy; I was more or less like a zombie. I couldn’t feel, couldn’t hurt, couldn’t love, all emotions were completely wiped. I was like this for close to a month. After that point, I finally found out how to deal with my depression, and for the most part I can deal with most problems I face. After this point, I made a new set of friends, a set that would put me back on the right path, one to succeed myself.
In my junior year, I was completely clean of any drug or depression. I started going to LAN Parties, or parties where I could set up my computer and play games all night. At this point, these parties, and these new friends taught me a lot about who I am, and also showed me a few extra skills that I had locked away inside myself. I found out who I was, and who I was meant to be, and I needed to do to become who I want to be. It took me an extra two years to get my life straightened out, which brings me to the present. Now I am happy and have many good things going for me. The rest of my life is fulfilled, and I am happy to say now that if I didn’t have such a rough adolescence, I wouldn’t be where I am now.
![R[s]T](/data/avatars/m/39/39916.jpg?1366521202){kind=avatar}
