Fav Family Guys Quotes

[Andrew]

How many of you watch Family Guy? It is the funniest show on Adult Swim, and there are many funny quotes. Here is one of my favorites:

Peter is in a robe on top of a hill, he is supposed to be in Hollywood as a movie producer or something, and then he falls down the hill and his robe falls off. So he crashes through the roof of this Hispanic house and the wife looks at his crotch and says, "This is the answer to all of my prayers!" in Spanish and then her husband goes "¿POR QUE?!!!!".

My friend and I joke about that one all the time.

 

[icastbigspells]

"giggity giggity giggity"

 

[Jason]

Chris: "Dad, what's the blowhole for?"
Peter: "I'll tell you what it's not for, and when you understand you will know why I'm banned from Sea World."

Lmao..

 

[Beer $lut]

Brian: Hola, me Ilamo es brian ... Nosotros caramos ir condustedes.. uhhhh ...
Bellboy(spanish): Hey, that was pretty good, except when you said "me llamo es Brian," you don't need the "es," just me llamo Brian.
Brian: Oh, oh you speak english
Bellboy (sigh): No, just that first speech and this one explaining it.
Brian: You .... you're kidding me, right?
Bellboy(spanish): Que?

 

[Pamma]

Some Guy: Hey, you can't park your van on the diving board
Peter:Hey, thats my son Chris
Guy: OH, hey joe that isnt their van, its just some fat kid!

teehee

And then the part where chris says "im embarrased to take my shirt off and swim. and peters like "hey i can embarras you" or soemthin then hes like "hey, everyone, look at chris griffin's father" then he licks his nipple haha...

 

[SweatyOgre]

"Hey, you know what I haven't had in awhile? ...Big League Chew."

 

[Bag]

Peter: What are you gonna make me do? Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy? 'Cause I'm married.

 

[drax]

Peter: A boat's a boat but a mystery box could be anything. It could even be a boat!

Later...after they open the box and find some tickets to some crappy show in it:

Peter: This is the first time I did something stupid, remember that time I took the box instead of the boat?

 

[MacMan]

Ahh it's been a while, but I think it was the episode where the guys were fighting over the trophy. I think they thought someone was stealing, so the guy in the wheelchair freaks out and rolls out of his door screaming "GET OUT OF THE WAY, I'VE GOT A GUN!" and he just starts shooting in every frickin' direction. So of course he hits Charlton Heston right in the goddamn chest. He goes over and says something like, "Oh I'm sorry, geez, I really thought the safety was on." and Heston, all bloody and weak and shit, says "Don't worry, it's your right as an American citizen." I can barely remember it, but holy shit I laughed my ass off at that!

 

[DB]

My favorite quote is when Peter is saved by Spider-Man, and Peter is like, "Thanks Spider-Man!" Then Spider-Man says, "Everybody gets one." That made me all giggley inside.

 

[Static]

Peter: so chris starts with this "yo yo" crap... so I started beatin' him with a hose, then my arm got tired and I came here.]


something like that. havent watched my dvds in awhile.

 

[Arkillo]

Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running?
Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.

Best. Ever.

 

[OriginalPrankster]

Peterh crap when did they change the meaning of for to from?
Brian: oh well they put out a memo about it but it said for peter so you probably thought it was from you and..... ya know just easier to call you stupid. Lois: Peter you've never been good at controlling yourself
Brian: yea like that time you soiled yourself at that dinner party.
*a few secs l8er* peter: UH OH!!!!

 

[aphextwin]

Originally posted by drax
Peter: A boat's a boat but a mystery box could be anything. It could even be a boat!

Later...after they open the box and find some tickets to some crappy show in it:

Peter: This is the first time I did something stupid, remember that time I took the box instead of the boat?

-and-

"am i, am i supposed to draw the penis?"
"am i, am i supposed to carve out the penis?"
"am i, am i supposed to conduct with my penis?"

 

[DigitalElite]

Originally posted by Beer $lut
Brian: Hola, me Ilamo es brian ... Nosotros caramos ir condustedes.. uhhhh ...
Bellboy(spanish): Hey, that was pretty good, except when you said "me llamo es Brian," you don't need the "es," just me llamo Brian.
Brian: Oh, oh you speak english
Bellboy (sigh): No, just that first speech and this one explaining it.
Brian: You .... you're kidding me, right?
Bellboy(spanish): Que?

 

[Thistle]

I refuse to talk to you because you are being a total bitch= stewie

 

[Samsara]

Peter: Teacher, why did the dinosaurs get extinct?
Teacher: It's because you touch yourself at night.

 

[Swooper]

My little bro managed to get all three seasons on DVD after christmas and his birthday, so I can watch it whenever I want now, I love it.

Chris: Dad, what would you say if I said I wanted to quit the boy scouts?
Peter: I would say, come again? Then I would laugh, because I said come.

 

[war3man]

haha my favorite is when:

Peter goes into chris's room and takes chrises pingpongy stick away and gives him porno.. then when he leaves the room he hears pong pong pong pong and peter slowly opens his eyes and looks at the pingpongy stick...hah

When peter becomes intouch with his feminim side and breastfeeds stewie and stewie slowly opens his eyes and realizes he is sucking a FAT MANS NIPPLE...

my favorite qoute is the episode emission impossible and stewies in his parents room sleeping with his parents.. and peter rolls on top of stewie and stewie says.. " Ugh... smells like cheeese!"

 

[Beer $lut]

Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Auctioner: She had nine STDs.
Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks