The things that relatives make you crack up

[Amantis]

Sometimes, what those grandparents/relatives/elderly people say is so silly that it makes you think "what would *they* know???"

I've just been told off at one point by my aunt lately (who is now legally an "elderly person" here) for "ordering too much food" at a restaurant. She was complaining that we'll never finish the food, that she's already full, the food's too filling (think carbohydrates like noodles and rice), etc etc etc...But my rebuke was that there are others who need to eat, we've got big men to finish off, there are other people who are hungry and that if there's too much in the end, we could always take things home.

In the end, we *did* finish everything that I've ordered. Her machine gun wit turned into mush.

Share your stories.

- Amantis

 

[Ntrik_]

Omfg Im with my grandmother right now.. she tells me "Go to sleep.. its 9:00 pm" Im like wtf? I sleep at like 3:00 a.m most of the time when Im in Canada... Then she tells me "are you hungry", I say no, she says "want to eat some ricecakes" I say Im not hungry, she says "why arent you hungry?", and I say "I JUST HAD LUNCH"

Jesus Christ, much more and more, she's getting mad at me because Im eating bread for the first time here in Korea, she thinks Rice > Bread, but in fact, Bread has like 10 times more ermm 'thingy' than Rice.... maybe she thinks Asians are supposed to eat Rice... not Bread..... stupid stereotypes. =/

Ive gone through this everyday.. ever since June 29th 2004.... will continue on until September 5th 2004... And God she just keeps on talkign and talking while watching the TV, cant hear shit, my dad tells her to shut up in polite way when she does it.. lol

 

[aphextwin]

my grandma's koo so its okay.... fo me

 

[Dragnskull]

this one time... around last january, my grandma came down from tennessee to visit me. she was a guest in -our- home. she would stay on the computer literally all day, much like me and my bro, AND WE NEEDED THAT TIME FOR DIABLO DAMNIT!!! (back then i was still addicted to dII) on top of that, she took over my brothers room, and my uncle (he showed up unexpectidaly, it was real cool though and i didnt mind) took my room, so i was out in the living room watchin tv around 10 or so. then my grandma comes out "david...its 10 o'clock, you need to go to sleep" i was thinkin "...wtf who is she to tell me that" but what i said was morearoun the lines of "k gran-ma" and ignored her fromthen on

then theres this story...back in the day when i would go to family weddings my grandparents would always come up to me, and pinch on my cheeks, and smile and say "your next, your next." well they stopped that s**t when i started doing it to them at funerals.

 

[Goth.Kid]

lol dragnskull thats awesome

 

[Master.America]

Originally posted by DragnSkull
then theres this story...back in the day when i would go to family weddings my grandparents would always come up to me, and pinch on my cheeks, and smile and say "your next, your next." well they stopped that s**t when i started doing it to them at funerals.

MG man... that's freaky-evil like...

My grandma is more or less the same as everyone else's, I guess. She favors me over all her grandchildren, sneaks me money for food or whatever sometimes... I really don't complain.

 

[Re'coil]

Im not a very...organized guy, everytime my ****ing grandma comes to visit shes always bitching about how my older brother was so smart and organized, and how i got the "left-over" genes. It's ****ing gay, im going to slap her next ****ing time she brings it up.

 

[Darkmatter]

Originally posted by DragnSkull then theres this story...back in the day when i would go to family weddings my grandparents would always come up to me, and pinch on my cheeks, and smile and say "your next, your next." well they stopped that s**t when i started doing it to them at funerals.

Lmao. That's great stuff man. You know what, I'm going to try that, even though my grandparents never did the cheek thing to me.



My Grandma is ok. I don't like being lectured on shit I already know, such as Sex, Dating, Insurance, Money, ''Life'' and blah blah. Usually she gives me stuff I don't even need. She did buy me a stick of 512 DDR for my last birthday, though.


I don't know any atories. I never had any of them that are worthy enough to be posted. Most of the crazy shit I did with my friends, and still do, so yea.


But there was this one time, I was about 7, and at my Uncles Wedding. Now I didn't know what a Wedding was then nor cared. I just kept breaking VCR's and taking the computer parts and messing with them like usual with my friend James. My cousin Ashley comes up to us at the end when everyones talking and eating cake and stuff, and offeres me this Limon Drink thing. I called her a bitch (We cussed a lot when we were kids, bad.....) and she ran inside. I'm sitting on the wall of my old house, with James, laughing. The next second she comes out with a freaking knfie and chances me for a few blocks until I out ran her. Now shes 18, and I'm 17. She can't be a bitch anymore, but yea. Shes 6'1, and for a girl that's pretty tall. I *eventually* hasd to try rhe limon drink, my mom forced me too, and it was okay....

 

[ORC-r0x0r-ROC]

back in the day when i would go to family weddings my grandparents would always come up to me, and pinch on my cheeks, and smile and say "your next, your next." well they stopped that s**t when i started doing it to them at funerals.

Would of been funnier if I didn't see it on a joke site a couple of days ago. People took you seriously lol. My granma never comes to visit and they only did I was little. I go there now and again and they always ask you if you need a drink or w/e I just be polite and say no thanks, they are a bit persistant though = /.

 

[Jimbo]

Originally posted by N_

Jesus Christ, much more and more, she's getting mad at me because Im eating bread for the first time here in Korea, she thinks Rice > Bread, but in fact, Bread has like 10 times more ermm 'thingy' than Rice.... maybe she thinks Asians are supposed to eat Rice... not Bread..... stupid stereotypes. =/

i found that funny lol,rice > bread classic ^^


as relatives only place i really go is to grandparents , they are cool

 

[Kao]

One of my friends was at a "family reunion" on a beach, somewhere in LA. Her sister smokes. There were about 60 people there.

In the morning (when you can see your breath), her sister is outside, just standing there, breathing. An aunt comes up and asks the oh so clever question, "Are you smoking?"

 

[B)ushid(o]

All my relatives, literally, insist that I to eat more food. My grandma goes something like "you're too skinny, are you hungry? come in and eat."

I go into my aunt's barber shop to get a haircut, and some lady, my mother's friend or one of my aunts, I don't know and don't care, starts whispering crap about me being homely :\ I just wanted to jump up off of my chair and start saying **** about her ugly a$$. SHe seriously thought that being 2 feet from her meant I couldn't hear a word she said.

I walk into my uncle's house and there are a few of my aunts and uncles. All of them start talking about how skinny I am.

I seriously hate my mother's brothers, sisters, in-laws, etc. My father's side is cool though no one to hate there.

 

[Jimbo]

pff,get fat then they wont say anything

 

[MiNiAn]

Getting fat can be harder than you think

 

[RyanXWing]

holy crap its hard I eat more than my fat friends and keep LOSING weight... yeeesh.... suzzorz


My gandparents are more in tunned with reallity, though forgetful at times.

 

[Tweak6]

My grandpa once said that my parents didn't love me. True story.

 

[Jimbo]

hahahahahah

he was trying to seduce u ....


meh,my granpa cant remember anything so i dont gotta worry about him saying my parents dont love me

 

[DigitalElite]

I feel bad for you Tweak

My grandmother just went senile this summer, so she is starting to say witty stuff and such. Although, I cant remember anything off the top of my head sadly

 

[x42bn6]

My cousin tried to play WarCraft. I ended up teaching him how to move units.

 

[minny]

once i was over at a family meeting at my cousins house. and i was so bored talking with my grandfather while the family was out shopping i taught my grandpa how to play counter strike. he was pretty good at it too