RoaCh of DisCord
Premium Member
- Joined
- May 17, 2003
- Messages
- 6,502
- Reaction score
- 14
[deepred]Ok, this is an older story I wrote..but I recently revised it, and never posted it here. It's one of my favorite pieces of work.
Whispers in my mind echoed through-out the temporary silence created from the ease of my every day life. Finally, just finally I was lifted. Something that I've been waiting to do for quite awhile. I felt alive, I felt free. For the first time in years, I took a stand. Instead of being tortured by my family, and being broken down piece by piece, I decided to mend my abrasions. I had it all set out in my mind. This was going to be the last day I saw my so called family, and the last day they would ever see me. I just couldn't take it any longer, and wouldn't. I guess it was a gift to myself. I had to get away, before I hurt myself beyond belief. Before any recolection of my current self was destroyed and Obliterated like a moth in a flame.
Things were different now though. Today WAS the best day of my life, because it was everything that I enjoyed and loved. It was just me, my friends, and nothing to stand in our way. For hours and hours that day we simply sat around, talking, listening to music...and just being at ease. We felt almost as if we were invincible. I know I did. Finally, life was making sense. It wasn't about the hard times, it was about the good times and how you spend them. The good times made up for the bad ones, even if there were so many. Not only was the day great, but as it faded into the darkness and coolness of the night, it got even better. Almost as if I were making a painting. A painting for me to love and cherish, to remember for all time. It was absolutely beautiful.
As the night grew on, it became even more beautiful. It was simply a perfect scene, a scene that I could soon take to my grave.
It was almost too beautiful. It was perfect.
Perfect....
Even though it felt so right, something inside me just seemed off. I felt as if the earth had shifted, and had been thrown off course. As if something in my head was unbalanced. Maybe it was. Or maybe I just couldn't comprehend happiness. I guess it was everything. I guess it was life. It was this beautiful moment. Could it really be so perfect? Could it? Nothing in my life was perfect, or even near normal. I hated life and it hated me. Was this finally my chance? My chance to rise above these stubborn fears? These fears that haunt my every move, longing to destroy everything I had...even if what I did have was so little? I honestly didn't know...but I was trying to blank it out. Blank something out that I just wasn't realizing...
Time pushed forward, and I decided it was time to head home. I said I wasn't going to, but I had to. It was cold out, near freezing. I couldn't just stay outside, avoiding everything that I had. Hate it or not, I had a home. Sickened maybe, but it was a home. Really, it was the only home I knew. Besides, tonight was going to be the last night I stayed in that home. Tonight was my rebirth. I had it all sketched out, perfectly planned... The next day I was going to move in with my friend Sara, which was great. We had known each other all our lives, and were the best of friends. We we're almost the same person. Everything was so alike, it was almost creepy. The best part of it was, it was finally official, it just needed to be done. I couldn't wait.
I said my goodbyes to my friends, and turned away. I felt as if this was the last time I'd see them. It felt as if something was being torn away from me. I really didn't know...I was still uneasy from the night before. I remembered only bits and pieces from that night...and it seemed like an old movie...it didn't seem real. My father did have a temper, but something went wrong. Something totally set him off. I couldn't remember what I did, but I definitely remembered the punishment, parts of it at least. Over and over in my head, pieces were beginning to come together..almost like a puzzle. I remember the crash...my head being impaled by my father's fist. I remember the sound of his dark colored jeans being slipping down to his ankles. I remember my mom screaming...I remember...
I didn't want to remember.
It was horrid, and the fact that I was going back home made me sick. I was so dazed, it felt like a living nightmare...but I had to. I just kept reassuring myself that it would only be one night. I would sneak in through my bedroom window, and no one would even know I was home. To do this right, I had to put the past behind me. No more puzzle pieces. I had to erase what happened, and try to remove it. Besides, I didn't want to remember. Who would? If I planned on starting a new, functional life, I had to pretend that none of this had ever happened. I couldn't go on dwelling on the past.
With many thoughts still lingering in my mind, I decided to move on. I couldn't just stand in the middle of the road...thinking. No matter how dead it was. I shrugged my shoulders and began to walk down the darkened path to my home. The sky was clear, revealing the stars so bright...shimmering....hovering. Almost as if I were on another planet, In the middle of it all. I stopped for a moment, and glanced up upon the beautiful blanket of stars.
Inhale...exhale...
I just had to stop trying to remember, it was driving me crazy. I knew there was a missing piece to this puzzle...but still...I couldn't put my finger on it. Something happened...something horrible. Something I didn't even tell my friends. Something far worse than a beating, or the usual fatherly rape. I knew my dad was sick. I knew it totally, and I wanted him dead. I wish I could have killed him, because I knew he deserved it. That wasn't the problem though, something else was bothering me...something about reality. Thoughts were rushing through my mind, almost blinding me. I struggled to grab control, and finally did it. I snapped out of it and continued on my way. Besides, I had almost a mile to walk. A mile away from "The Dreaming Coven." Well, that's what my friends and I called it. It was our place to get away, and think. A place for us to cry at times,a place for us to have fun...but more importantly, a place for us to just be ourselves. Something that some of us could never be.
I took a deep breath and began my way once more...determined to go home, sleep, and leave. I traveled down the un-lit path, edging to a small trail surrounded by trees. Knowing my way around, I began my way through the center of this dark forest, working my way through an uneasy trail. As time grew on, It seemed as if I were walking for miles. Yet It all looked all so familiar. I had to be going the right way, I just had to. I knew my way around these parts, especially here, I do this every day to get to school and back. Yet deep down I knew the truth. Something was wrong...
In a worried state of mind I decided to sit and rest for a moment, and try to place where I was. This was it. My breaking point. The truth was, I had no clue where I was, and I was really starting to worry about my mental health. Honestly, I didn't think that I could hold it together much longer. I was lost. Something was very different from earlier... Something was DEFINITELY off. It almost felt if I had slipped into another dimension, and couldn't find my way out. Everything seemed so blurry, even through my eyes. The tree's hovered high above me, almost perfectly still. No wind...no anything. It was as if time was frozen, and I was the only one alive...the only one capable of anything else. Except something ELSE was odd. A thick blanket of fog hovered slightly above the ground...moving with ease. I guess that's not very odd...but the strange thing was, it appeared within a blink of an eye. Or at least I thought it did. Was I going crazy?
Inhale...exhale...
I just HAD to get out of here...yet it felt as if I couldn't move. Almost as if my bones had deteriorated, and I was left as a pile of dust. Deciding to rest just a bit longer, I lay down upon the dry, dirt covered ground. Memories still flashed throughout my mind like a photo album from hell. The impact of my skull...the dizziness...the rape... This was so much to take. I was only 14 for god sakes! I didn't deserve this. Especially from my own dad. Why would he do this to his own little girl...what possessed him to commit these sick acts of violence...WHY ME? The question lingered over and over...yet I already knew why. He was sick. It really didn't need much of an explanation. Something probably happened to him as a child, so he was using me as a tool. A tool for his revenge. To get back at this sick sad little world that destroyed him. That ruined him...
I turned over on my side, and opened my eyes. A tear cascaded down my face, falling to the ground. I watched as it began to soak into the dirt, slowly disappearing from my sight. I closed my eyes once again, this time envisioning complete horror. Something new.. The missing piece. The puzzle was about to come together, yet I didn't know if I wanted it to. I didn't know if I could handle it. It really didn't matter though. It WAS coming back, like it or not. I felt it all once again, like re-living the nightmare, over and over. The impact of my skull...the dizziness...the rape...my father's foot... stepping on my tattered body...my mom screaming... Yet there was more... This time, my father turned to the kitchen, and came back holding a long rope and a 2x4. I could see myself...lying motionless in a puddle of my own blood. Terrified. It was like I was floating above myself, watching it all happen. Watching my own death...but was I? Was I dead? I felt as if I was, yet something told me that I wasn't. Something told me that I was hanging on...hanging on to something.
This was too much, I couldn't take it. I screamed and quickly opened my eyes, revealing the dark, dry dirt ground. The trees still hovered high above, and the fog still moved with ease. This was better. This was okay. Still terrified, I jerked myself upward, yet only to fall back down. What? I must have been caught on something. I looked down only to notice my hand bound to the ground by a long, tightly tied rope. What was happening? What was going on? I struggled to get loose but couldn't, it was no use. I let out a cry, and lay back down. I closed my eyes, hoping that everything would just disappear. Hoping that this was all just a bad dream, and I would wake up with a loving family and a life worth living.
"Honey..." a voice whispered in the distance
"Wake up..." said the voice. This time much closer.
"Huh..?" I quietly said as I began to slowly open my eyes.
As my eyes slowly opened, I nodded my head down, towards my hand. I was still bound to the ground, but this was different. The ground was concrete, and my hands and legs were tied to large metallic rings sticking out from the dark dirty floor. I struggled to move, but couldn't. I looked up towards the sky, and noticed that there was no sky at all. I wasn't even in the woods. I was in a large basement. It looked so familiar...cement walls...a cement ceiling...random piles of garbage upon the floor. Various tools cluttered upon dusty cabinets and boxes. An empty wooden table standing in the center of the room with random objects piled on it. The room was lighted very dim...but enough to make out my surroundings. The air was filled with a thick musty smog...almost choking me. I guess it was just dust, but it was horrible...it was home...
"Welcome to The Dreaming Coven...dear..."
I looked over at a tall figure standing next to the table in the center of the room. Oh god...was I really seeing this? Was this really happening? It was my father...
"Have a nice sleep?"
Sleep...I thought over in my head. SLEEP? More like resting my eyes...What the hell is going on? How did this happen?
"Sleep? How the hell did you find me you sick son of a bitch!?" I screamed...totally loosing everything I once had. A wave of agony rushed through my body, creating a drowning sensation of undying emotions and memories. I felt as if I was in a deep dark pit of thick mud. As if I was slowly descending deeper down into complete and utter darkness with no control. Inside I began to feel numb and tired, as my vision started to blur and my eyes weakly sealed shut. This was just too much. Struggling to stay conscious I bit my lip and opened my eyes once again. I tugged at my confined arms and legs, yet deep down inside I knew that there was no hope. I took a deep breath, and moved my eyes upward toward the ceiling.
"It isn't hard finding you honey, when you're locked in my basement." He smiles gently.
"...but..I was with my friends!" I shrieked, struggling to catch my breath. "I...I got lost...but...but... I wasn't here! I wasn't here with you!" I said screaming with a furious rage, choking myself. I still remembered everything that happened. The great day with my friends, slowly turning into a disaster. Why me, I asked over and over in my mind. What did I do to deserve this...?
"Your friends? Must have been dreamin' baby. You've gone no where, and you will go no where. You have no friends. You have no one else but me. YOU HEAR ME?"
He said in a raspy voice. With that said he paused for a moment...and leaned against the table, looking right over it and into eyes.
"I am your only friend, doll. I am the only one you will ever have. You're mine, baby doll. Forever..." He said, hissing the words, almost as if he were a monster. He smashed his fist against the table, in attempt to frighten me...but I was beyond scared. I was in a state of mind I've never been it before.
Finally, it all started to make sense. This time, EVERYTHING came to me. I was never with my friends at all. I knew it couldn't have been real. It was perfect. So perfect... Something I could NEVER have. Something I wanted so bad. Something I drew out in my mind, making my own fantasy. Sadly, it broke out into a full blown nightmare. Reality struck, and it was bad. I didn't know how long I had been living in this fantasy world, or how long I've been tied up...but judging from my surrounding and my body...it felt like years. For some reason I really couldn't remember ANYTHING, but maybe that was for the better. I just kept holding on to that one day with my friends...the day I was free. Real or not, it felt so good. I wanted to go back, but this time, I knew the reality. I knew the sad pathetic truth that I lived in. I found the last puzzle piece. It no longer meant anything to me. It was time for me to go free. Despite what my father felt, this was the one thing I could control. The one thing that was mine, and he couldn't ruin it this time. He could never take it away. Finally, for once I was in total control. I knew what to do.
"I see dad...I see... Well, you have me now, but you will NEVER have my mind. You will never have what I feel inside. Who I really am. You are worthless. I hope you die realizing what you've done to me! I hope you ****ing rot in hell! Wait...I don't hope that."
I paused for a moment.
"I KNOW you will! God will never forgive you...and I hope you can never forgive yourself! You will live with this for the rest of your pathetic life!"
With that said, I decided it was time to go back. My father definitely heard what I said, because I screamed it at the top of my lungs. I wanted him to know how much I hated him. How much I was sickened by who he was. Whether he cared or not was no longer relevant to me. I've been worried about what he thought of me for long enough. It was time for me, and only me. I glanced over for one last look of the real world, and saw my dad standing by the table with a grin on his face. I didn't care. It was time to go...
It was time to leave this place...
I closed my eyes, and pictured me and my friends. We were sitting in the park, talking about how great things were. It was a beautiful day. The sky was bright...the grass was green. A cool breeze flowed through out trees. It was very calming. We we're listening to music, and eating pizza. This was so perfect. Something that I haven't done for maybe years. A day I created. Maybe I even created my friends. I didn't know of my past, and I was glad. This was my future...this was my new life...
This was my dreaming coven...[/deepred]
The Dreaming Coven
Whispers in my mind echoed through-out the temporary silence created from the ease of my every day life. Finally, just finally I was lifted. Something that I've been waiting to do for quite awhile. I felt alive, I felt free. For the first time in years, I took a stand. Instead of being tortured by my family, and being broken down piece by piece, I decided to mend my abrasions. I had it all set out in my mind. This was going to be the last day I saw my so called family, and the last day they would ever see me. I just couldn't take it any longer, and wouldn't. I guess it was a gift to myself. I had to get away, before I hurt myself beyond belief. Before any recolection of my current self was destroyed and Obliterated like a moth in a flame.
Things were different now though. Today WAS the best day of my life, because it was everything that I enjoyed and loved. It was just me, my friends, and nothing to stand in our way. For hours and hours that day we simply sat around, talking, listening to music...and just being at ease. We felt almost as if we were invincible. I know I did. Finally, life was making sense. It wasn't about the hard times, it was about the good times and how you spend them. The good times made up for the bad ones, even if there were so many. Not only was the day great, but as it faded into the darkness and coolness of the night, it got even better. Almost as if I were making a painting. A painting for me to love and cherish, to remember for all time. It was absolutely beautiful.
As the night grew on, it became even more beautiful. It was simply a perfect scene, a scene that I could soon take to my grave.
It was almost too beautiful. It was perfect.
Perfect....
Even though it felt so right, something inside me just seemed off. I felt as if the earth had shifted, and had been thrown off course. As if something in my head was unbalanced. Maybe it was. Or maybe I just couldn't comprehend happiness. I guess it was everything. I guess it was life. It was this beautiful moment. Could it really be so perfect? Could it? Nothing in my life was perfect, or even near normal. I hated life and it hated me. Was this finally my chance? My chance to rise above these stubborn fears? These fears that haunt my every move, longing to destroy everything I had...even if what I did have was so little? I honestly didn't know...but I was trying to blank it out. Blank something out that I just wasn't realizing...
Time pushed forward, and I decided it was time to head home. I said I wasn't going to, but I had to. It was cold out, near freezing. I couldn't just stay outside, avoiding everything that I had. Hate it or not, I had a home. Sickened maybe, but it was a home. Really, it was the only home I knew. Besides, tonight was going to be the last night I stayed in that home. Tonight was my rebirth. I had it all sketched out, perfectly planned... The next day I was going to move in with my friend Sara, which was great. We had known each other all our lives, and were the best of friends. We we're almost the same person. Everything was so alike, it was almost creepy. The best part of it was, it was finally official, it just needed to be done. I couldn't wait.
I said my goodbyes to my friends, and turned away. I felt as if this was the last time I'd see them. It felt as if something was being torn away from me. I really didn't know...I was still uneasy from the night before. I remembered only bits and pieces from that night...and it seemed like an old movie...it didn't seem real. My father did have a temper, but something went wrong. Something totally set him off. I couldn't remember what I did, but I definitely remembered the punishment, parts of it at least. Over and over in my head, pieces were beginning to come together..almost like a puzzle. I remember the crash...my head being impaled by my father's fist. I remember the sound of his dark colored jeans being slipping down to his ankles. I remember my mom screaming...I remember...
I didn't want to remember.
It was horrid, and the fact that I was going back home made me sick. I was so dazed, it felt like a living nightmare...but I had to. I just kept reassuring myself that it would only be one night. I would sneak in through my bedroom window, and no one would even know I was home. To do this right, I had to put the past behind me. No more puzzle pieces. I had to erase what happened, and try to remove it. Besides, I didn't want to remember. Who would? If I planned on starting a new, functional life, I had to pretend that none of this had ever happened. I couldn't go on dwelling on the past.
With many thoughts still lingering in my mind, I decided to move on. I couldn't just stand in the middle of the road...thinking. No matter how dead it was. I shrugged my shoulders and began to walk down the darkened path to my home. The sky was clear, revealing the stars so bright...shimmering....hovering. Almost as if I were on another planet, In the middle of it all. I stopped for a moment, and glanced up upon the beautiful blanket of stars.
Inhale...exhale...
I just had to stop trying to remember, it was driving me crazy. I knew there was a missing piece to this puzzle...but still...I couldn't put my finger on it. Something happened...something horrible. Something I didn't even tell my friends. Something far worse than a beating, or the usual fatherly rape. I knew my dad was sick. I knew it totally, and I wanted him dead. I wish I could have killed him, because I knew he deserved it. That wasn't the problem though, something else was bothering me...something about reality. Thoughts were rushing through my mind, almost blinding me. I struggled to grab control, and finally did it. I snapped out of it and continued on my way. Besides, I had almost a mile to walk. A mile away from "The Dreaming Coven." Well, that's what my friends and I called it. It was our place to get away, and think. A place for us to cry at times,a place for us to have fun...but more importantly, a place for us to just be ourselves. Something that some of us could never be.
I took a deep breath and began my way once more...determined to go home, sleep, and leave. I traveled down the un-lit path, edging to a small trail surrounded by trees. Knowing my way around, I began my way through the center of this dark forest, working my way through an uneasy trail. As time grew on, It seemed as if I were walking for miles. Yet It all looked all so familiar. I had to be going the right way, I just had to. I knew my way around these parts, especially here, I do this every day to get to school and back. Yet deep down I knew the truth. Something was wrong...
In a worried state of mind I decided to sit and rest for a moment, and try to place where I was. This was it. My breaking point. The truth was, I had no clue where I was, and I was really starting to worry about my mental health. Honestly, I didn't think that I could hold it together much longer. I was lost. Something was very different from earlier... Something was DEFINITELY off. It almost felt if I had slipped into another dimension, and couldn't find my way out. Everything seemed so blurry, even through my eyes. The tree's hovered high above me, almost perfectly still. No wind...no anything. It was as if time was frozen, and I was the only one alive...the only one capable of anything else. Except something ELSE was odd. A thick blanket of fog hovered slightly above the ground...moving with ease. I guess that's not very odd...but the strange thing was, it appeared within a blink of an eye. Or at least I thought it did. Was I going crazy?
Inhale...exhale...
I just HAD to get out of here...yet it felt as if I couldn't move. Almost as if my bones had deteriorated, and I was left as a pile of dust. Deciding to rest just a bit longer, I lay down upon the dry, dirt covered ground. Memories still flashed throughout my mind like a photo album from hell. The impact of my skull...the dizziness...the rape... This was so much to take. I was only 14 for god sakes! I didn't deserve this. Especially from my own dad. Why would he do this to his own little girl...what possessed him to commit these sick acts of violence...WHY ME? The question lingered over and over...yet I already knew why. He was sick. It really didn't need much of an explanation. Something probably happened to him as a child, so he was using me as a tool. A tool for his revenge. To get back at this sick sad little world that destroyed him. That ruined him...
I turned over on my side, and opened my eyes. A tear cascaded down my face, falling to the ground. I watched as it began to soak into the dirt, slowly disappearing from my sight. I closed my eyes once again, this time envisioning complete horror. Something new.. The missing piece. The puzzle was about to come together, yet I didn't know if I wanted it to. I didn't know if I could handle it. It really didn't matter though. It WAS coming back, like it or not. I felt it all once again, like re-living the nightmare, over and over. The impact of my skull...the dizziness...the rape...my father's foot... stepping on my tattered body...my mom screaming... Yet there was more... This time, my father turned to the kitchen, and came back holding a long rope and a 2x4. I could see myself...lying motionless in a puddle of my own blood. Terrified. It was like I was floating above myself, watching it all happen. Watching my own death...but was I? Was I dead? I felt as if I was, yet something told me that I wasn't. Something told me that I was hanging on...hanging on to something.
This was too much, I couldn't take it. I screamed and quickly opened my eyes, revealing the dark, dry dirt ground. The trees still hovered high above, and the fog still moved with ease. This was better. This was okay. Still terrified, I jerked myself upward, yet only to fall back down. What? I must have been caught on something. I looked down only to notice my hand bound to the ground by a long, tightly tied rope. What was happening? What was going on? I struggled to get loose but couldn't, it was no use. I let out a cry, and lay back down. I closed my eyes, hoping that everything would just disappear. Hoping that this was all just a bad dream, and I would wake up with a loving family and a life worth living.
"Honey..." a voice whispered in the distance
"Wake up..." said the voice. This time much closer.
"Huh..?" I quietly said as I began to slowly open my eyes.
As my eyes slowly opened, I nodded my head down, towards my hand. I was still bound to the ground, but this was different. The ground was concrete, and my hands and legs were tied to large metallic rings sticking out from the dark dirty floor. I struggled to move, but couldn't. I looked up towards the sky, and noticed that there was no sky at all. I wasn't even in the woods. I was in a large basement. It looked so familiar...cement walls...a cement ceiling...random piles of garbage upon the floor. Various tools cluttered upon dusty cabinets and boxes. An empty wooden table standing in the center of the room with random objects piled on it. The room was lighted very dim...but enough to make out my surroundings. The air was filled with a thick musty smog...almost choking me. I guess it was just dust, but it was horrible...it was home...
"Welcome to The Dreaming Coven...dear..."
I looked over at a tall figure standing next to the table in the center of the room. Oh god...was I really seeing this? Was this really happening? It was my father...
"Have a nice sleep?"
Sleep...I thought over in my head. SLEEP? More like resting my eyes...What the hell is going on? How did this happen?
"Sleep? How the hell did you find me you sick son of a bitch!?" I screamed...totally loosing everything I once had. A wave of agony rushed through my body, creating a drowning sensation of undying emotions and memories. I felt as if I was in a deep dark pit of thick mud. As if I was slowly descending deeper down into complete and utter darkness with no control. Inside I began to feel numb and tired, as my vision started to blur and my eyes weakly sealed shut. This was just too much. Struggling to stay conscious I bit my lip and opened my eyes once again. I tugged at my confined arms and legs, yet deep down inside I knew that there was no hope. I took a deep breath, and moved my eyes upward toward the ceiling.
"It isn't hard finding you honey, when you're locked in my basement." He smiles gently.
"...but..I was with my friends!" I shrieked, struggling to catch my breath. "I...I got lost...but...but... I wasn't here! I wasn't here with you!" I said screaming with a furious rage, choking myself. I still remembered everything that happened. The great day with my friends, slowly turning into a disaster. Why me, I asked over and over in my mind. What did I do to deserve this...?
"Your friends? Must have been dreamin' baby. You've gone no where, and you will go no where. You have no friends. You have no one else but me. YOU HEAR ME?"
He said in a raspy voice. With that said he paused for a moment...and leaned against the table, looking right over it and into eyes.
"I am your only friend, doll. I am the only one you will ever have. You're mine, baby doll. Forever..." He said, hissing the words, almost as if he were a monster. He smashed his fist against the table, in attempt to frighten me...but I was beyond scared. I was in a state of mind I've never been it before.
Finally, it all started to make sense. This time, EVERYTHING came to me. I was never with my friends at all. I knew it couldn't have been real. It was perfect. So perfect... Something I could NEVER have. Something I wanted so bad. Something I drew out in my mind, making my own fantasy. Sadly, it broke out into a full blown nightmare. Reality struck, and it was bad. I didn't know how long I had been living in this fantasy world, or how long I've been tied up...but judging from my surrounding and my body...it felt like years. For some reason I really couldn't remember ANYTHING, but maybe that was for the better. I just kept holding on to that one day with my friends...the day I was free. Real or not, it felt so good. I wanted to go back, but this time, I knew the reality. I knew the sad pathetic truth that I lived in. I found the last puzzle piece. It no longer meant anything to me. It was time for me to go free. Despite what my father felt, this was the one thing I could control. The one thing that was mine, and he couldn't ruin it this time. He could never take it away. Finally, for once I was in total control. I knew what to do.
"I see dad...I see... Well, you have me now, but you will NEVER have my mind. You will never have what I feel inside. Who I really am. You are worthless. I hope you die realizing what you've done to me! I hope you ****ing rot in hell! Wait...I don't hope that."
I paused for a moment.
"I KNOW you will! God will never forgive you...and I hope you can never forgive yourself! You will live with this for the rest of your pathetic life!"
With that said, I decided it was time to go back. My father definitely heard what I said, because I screamed it at the top of my lungs. I wanted him to know how much I hated him. How much I was sickened by who he was. Whether he cared or not was no longer relevant to me. I've been worried about what he thought of me for long enough. It was time for me, and only me. I glanced over for one last look of the real world, and saw my dad standing by the table with a grin on his face. I didn't care. It was time to go...
It was time to leave this place...
I closed my eyes, and pictured me and my friends. We were sitting in the park, talking about how great things were. It was a beautiful day. The sky was bright...the grass was green. A cool breeze flowed through out trees. It was very calming. We we're listening to music, and eating pizza. This was so perfect. Something that I haven't done for maybe years. A day I created. Maybe I even created my friends. I didn't know of my past, and I was glad. This was my future...this was my new life...
This was my dreaming coven...[/deepred]
