Well considering you didn't state exactly what it was that got you banned, I can't jump to any irrational conclusions about your former clan. As a clan leader, I understand some members tend to think everyone is out to get them when they are asked to leave the clan, and will usually turn that bitterness into something that didn't really happen.
But I agree with AKA... can only work if done with friends. I have online friends as well, and we spend a good deal of time both playing games, and bashing the shit out of each other. Our general pattern is to play until we get sick of it, then talk our asses off when we just can't anymore.
Not all clans will just talk, and not game wkdentns. There are lives that occur outside of your own, and sometimes people aren't able to play for hours, because they already have... or something happened in their life that requires them to get their stress off their backs.