jd-inflames
Melodic Murderer
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2003
- Messages
- 6,014
- Reaction score
- 6
- Location
- My Sanctuary
- Website
- www.cursedprophets.com
After swimming in my dark deep pool of torment called self loathing for over 4 hours, I used one thing to cheer me up. I remember what I want in life.
Yes, this is definately a thread to sum up all threads, so pay attention.
Thoughts have been running rampantly through my brain so fast that I can only comprehend fragments of sentences and I slur the paragraphs. But deep down inside my cold black heart I still feel a slight pulse. No, this isn't another "Pity me please" threads, it has a purpose. Back to the point, I started to think of what would truly make me happy. What I want out of this cruel world. Then I started questioning how other people feel on the topic, which is why I felt the need to discuss this.
I've said it many times, at this young age I am already ready to settle down. I have quit doing drugs and I am trying as hard as my feeble mind will allow to support myself to the point of living on my own. I'm ready to find that special girl to settle down with. Like I told Tatu last night, I want a girl who I can appreciate, and can appreciate me back. An equal, someone that I don't feel as if I need to say what's what. I don't want to be some sort of control freak, but I want someone who understands what sets me off and knows how to control me back. Someone who wouldn't do something that they know I wouldn't disapprove. Someone to love me in return.
I want to have children. I have already had 2 technically, but they both died in the womb. I want children so badly, someone who I can teach the way I was never taught. Someone to love the way I was never loved. Someone to cherish the way I was never cherished. I was brought up as a burden, and not a blessing, and I would never do that to a child of mine. I didn't know about the first time I got a girl pregnant, so I didn't have the time to think and to care. The second time was with a different girl, and even though I knew for a fact that I couldn't care for one financially at the time, I felt blessed. Like I had been givin a second chance at life. My paternal instincts have been going off a lot lately, and I want to use them. I want to give life a meaning.
I want to make something of myself. Never in my life have I ever wanted to be rich, but I've always wanted to be known and respected for my accomplishments. In my opinion I am far wiser beyond my years, and I want to be able to show off some of the things that I can do.
Well, what do you want in life? Be it some job aspiration, some sort of accomplishment that needs to be reached?
Yes, this is definately a thread to sum up all threads, so pay attention.
Thoughts have been running rampantly through my brain so fast that I can only comprehend fragments of sentences and I slur the paragraphs. But deep down inside my cold black heart I still feel a slight pulse. No, this isn't another "Pity me please" threads, it has a purpose. Back to the point, I started to think of what would truly make me happy. What I want out of this cruel world. Then I started questioning how other people feel on the topic, which is why I felt the need to discuss this.
I've said it many times, at this young age I am already ready to settle down. I have quit doing drugs and I am trying as hard as my feeble mind will allow to support myself to the point of living on my own. I'm ready to find that special girl to settle down with. Like I told Tatu last night, I want a girl who I can appreciate, and can appreciate me back. An equal, someone that I don't feel as if I need to say what's what. I don't want to be some sort of control freak, but I want someone who understands what sets me off and knows how to control me back. Someone who wouldn't do something that they know I wouldn't disapprove. Someone to love me in return.
I want to have children. I have already had 2 technically, but they both died in the womb. I want children so badly, someone who I can teach the way I was never taught. Someone to love the way I was never loved. Someone to cherish the way I was never cherished. I was brought up as a burden, and not a blessing, and I would never do that to a child of mine. I didn't know about the first time I got a girl pregnant, so I didn't have the time to think and to care. The second time was with a different girl, and even though I knew for a fact that I couldn't care for one financially at the time, I felt blessed. Like I had been givin a second chance at life. My paternal instincts have been going off a lot lately, and I want to use them. I want to give life a meaning.
I want to make something of myself. Never in my life have I ever wanted to be rich, but I've always wanted to be known and respected for my accomplishments. In my opinion I am far wiser beyond my years, and I want to be able to show off some of the things that I can do.
Well, what do you want in life? Be it some job aspiration, some sort of accomplishment that needs to be reached?
