Joke

[N[U]TS]

Heres a joke for yall

Two cowboys from Arizona walk into a roadhouse to wash the trail dust from their throats. They stand at the bar, drinking their beers and talking quietly about cattle prices. Suddenly a woman at a table behind them, who had been eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so it becomes apparent that she is in real distress, and the cowboys turn to her.

"Kin ya Saller?" asks on of the cowboys

No, the woman shakes her hea.

"kin ya Breathe?" asks the other.

The woman, beginning to turn a bit blue, shakes her head no again.

The first cowboy walks over to her, lifts up the back of her skirt, yands down her panties, and slowly runs his tounge from the back of her thigh up to the small of her back.(her butt if u cant figure that out) This shocks the woman to a violent spasm, the obstruction flies out of her mouth, and she begins to breath again.

The cowboy walks back over to the bar and takes a drink of his beer.

His partner says, "ya know, I'd heard of that there Hind Lick Manuever, but I never seen anybody do it."

 

[AzNsUpA-Boi]

lol... i read the last couple lines and got it 2 laze 2 read whole thing
heres a joke:

wats does a rubix cube and a penis have in common?
the longer u play with them the harder they get

 

[Shadow1psc2k]

lmao.... great joke. Maybe we should just have a definitive stickied 'joke' thread...

 

[SpX]

LOL, those are some pretty good jokes...where did you get the first one?

 

[AzNsUpA-Boi]

heres a longer one.... ugh

so one day... a lil girl wants to learn a magic trick and goes to her grandmother... she askes grama do u know any tricks? shes like no but ur grandfather may. go to him. so she goes and asks him if he knows any magic tricks. he says sure come sit on my lap and i will show you, so she sits and then her grandpa says do u feel that finger poking up your ass? and the girl says yes.. then the grandpa shows her his hands and says well look... no hands

 

[SpX]

LOL, I got a joke for you guys but it's one that I heard at school.

What's a sea monster's favorite food?




Ships and Dip.
Ahahahahaha. I love that one, it's not very funny though.

 

[AzNsUpA-Boi]

lmao.....im laffin at the fact that you thinks its funny lol no offense, heres another one, one of my favs

so 3 ppl are traveling da desert and they come across a hut... they are very hungry and thirsty so they decide to see if she has anything. so one guy tells the other 2 guys to wait outside while goes in and asks her for food... so he goes in and asks for food.. and a lady says sure but only if u give me sex.. so the guy says okay but on the condition that you blindfold yourself... so she blindfolds and then the guy finds a corn on the cob, slathers it in butter then inserts it and vibrates it, then he throws it out the window... then she says ill give you more food if u do it again.. so he does it again and once again he slathers it in butter and then inserts it and throws it out the window... then he recieves food and then goes outside and says hey guys i got food... the other 2 say o we are fine we just ate corn on the cob... a lil salty tho

 

[SpX]

LMAO, that's a great one, don't ask me why I think the one I wrote is funny. Here's an old one.

3 kids were outside playing a game of football and their names were Poop, Manners, and Shut up. So Poop gets hurt and Shut up calls the police. The police say Whats your name? and shut up goes Shut up. Then cops say No, seriously kid, what's your name? and shut up says Shut up! then the cop goes Where is Manners? shut ups says Oh, hes over there picking up poop.

That's like the stupidest joke ever.

 

[AzNsUpA-Boi]

yea ive heard a variety of those lol where trouble and shutup and other names

 

[Ota]

LMAO, Some of 'em are good!

>Here mine it is

There was a priest playing golf, of couse his caddy was a very religious person, so the priest swing, hit, and the ball went right to the sand trap
-Oh, shit! I missed - The priest goes
- Father! What are you saying? - The caddy answer
- Sorry, I wont do that again
So the priest takes another ball and hit, going right to the water
- Oh, shit! I missed - He said again
- Father!!!! If you keep swearing, God will punish you
- Sorry, I dont know what got into me...Oh, Shit! I missed
Suddenly, the sky went black, a heavy wind started, a thunder came to hit... the caddy, then a holy voice from the heavens say:
Oh, Shit! I missed!

 

[AzNsUpA-Boi]

lol goood one haha

 

[N[U]TS]

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally, he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.
"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son who just died recently."

"I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes," she said. "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Goodbye mother'? It would make me feel much better."

"Sure," answered the young man. As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye mother!"

As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50. "How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"

"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.

pretty funny, but yet that sucks for the guy!

here is another

What another word for a gay farmer?

A jolly rancher. :rofl2






next one


A little boy and girl were playing doctor. The little boy boldly pulled off his shirt and pointed to his nipples.
"I've got two of these," he said. "How about you?" The little girl opened her blouse and showed him her nipples. So the boy pointed to his belly button. The little girl looked down showed him her belly button. So the little boy dropped his drawers and pointed to his penis. The little girl raised her skirt and pulled her underwear to the side, but search as she might she couldn't find that particular organ. The little boy taunted her till she ran home to her mommy. She returned 15 minutes later with a big grin on her face.

"My mommy told me that when I am 15 years old, I'll have as many of those as I want!"




ok last one for today.....


This old man goes to the doctor's.
"Help, Doc. I just got married to this 21 year old woman. She is hot and all she wants to do is have sex all day long."

"So what's the problem?"

"I can't remember where I live." :rollie

 

[AzNsUpA-Boi]

lmao 2 pretty good jokes

 

[N[U]TS]

lmao 2 pretty good jokes

bleh 2-4..... i can do better lets try another


Redneck Birth Control...

A man and and a woman from Alabama don't want any more children because they already have 11. So the husband goes to a doctor in Ohio. The doctor asks, "What state are you from?
The man say,s "Alabama." The doctor tells him to go home, put a lit cherry bomb in an empty soda can, hold it in his hand, and count to 10. The husband isn't so sure of this, so he goes to another doctor, this time in California.

When that doctor finds out that the husband is from Alabama, he tells him the exact same thing that the doctor in Ohio told him. The husband figures that the doctors must be right.

So he goes home, puts a lit cherry bomb in a soda can, and starts to count. ''1...2...3...4...5...'' The husband takes the soda can and puts it between his legs to continue counting on his fingers on his right hand. ''6...7...8...9...''

damn thats gotta hurt! :bugeyes