Informative post 1: How to wipe your own ass

[Renzokuken]

If Dragn can get points for writing stuff for retards, so can i.

Don't be ashamed, everyone has trouble with it sometimes, so here's a step by step process that will make a toilet trip that much easier.

Step 1: While you're on the can, grab a few sheets of toilet paper and either fold them or scrunch them (I'm a folder!). If there is a lack of toilet paper you can either:

• Yell out to anyone nearby to throw you a roll.
• Smush the cardboard tube (Providing that there is one) that holds the toilet paper into something usable so you can scrape off the stink nuggets.

If neither of the above two work, you can use your underwear, but i strongly advise throwing it out after usage.

Step 2: Now get your hand down there. Make sure you have the toilet paper too, otherwise things get messy! Think of it like you're wiping a table down with a cloth, but instead of a table, it's your ass. Now use the toilet paper to wipe off the **** that decided to stay behind. Oh before i forget, sometimes **** likes to grab onto your ass hairs and not let go, so make sure you dig in there hard and get it all out.

Step 3: Now that your ass is clean, put your clothes back on and flush the toilet. Don't forget to wash your hands! Congratulations you can now wipe your own ass. :grunttop:

 

[Zmoney]

Are you sitting or standing while your doing the wipping?

 

[Amantis]

Why not install an electronic toilet seat that will clean your ass when you're done with your business? And it comes with the seat heater for winter, warmer water for the cold days and a blow dry mechanism. I'm proud to brag that I actually have one at home.

- Amantis

 

[TrongaMonga]

Man how do I give points!!!

 

[coRtALoS]

Excellent erotic storytelling. 10/10. Fast shipment, product in like-new condition, great Ebayer, will do business with again!

 

[x42bn6]

Fail; does not cover bidets, anal hygiene (types of tissue paper, allergies, water, type of soap to use, why not to use bleach, etc.).*

 

[coRtALoS]

Yeah, actually he didn't go over directions either. There's nothing worse than wiping klingons on to your potatos.

 

[x42bn6]

I'm sure porn is not allowed.*