EatShrooms
Inspector Jackoff
This is not for educational purposes, sue me if you can. Keep in mind when attempting murder your life is also at stake.
Step 1: Buy a balaclava.
Step 2: If you don't have a hoodie, get one extra large, you want to keep as little details about you as possible, wearing large clothing can make it slightly harder to judge weight if witnesses come forward. Your pants better not have holes.
Step 3: You need a weapon. A gun is definitely first choice. Killing with anything else has too many variables, especially a knife. Unless if you can handle a knife well, then you need to consider the noise the target and/or others will make when you go to kill. Bring a knife with teeth though, but this isn't for wounding your target.
Step 4: Your clothes need to be washed and dried. Use a round hairbrush to be sure no hairs or skin from your body do not remain on your clothing. Don't use a flat hairbrush, round ones are easier to get hairs out of it. Brush off all articles of clothing while not worn. Brush off each piece one by one, inside-out first. Keep the other clothing away from the brushed clothes so hairs, dry skin, or fingernails don't fall on the brushed clothing. Turn it right-side-out and repeat.
Step 5: This tutorial assumes you know the person's home address. If there are more than one persons living in the home it's suggested you kill all occupants. If you are certain there is a time when the target is alone then you should of course consider killing them at this time.
Step 6: If you don't know the individual personally you need to get to know them. Invite them over to your home for a barbecue with your friends, etc. You need the target to be comfortable with you, that way in the future you can gain access to their home.
Step 7: This step is quite simple, you find an excuse to visit their home. Hopefully if you have known the target long enough he/she will invite you over. Unfortunately this will more than likely be a visit with other people in the home, making it more difficult to murder the target.
Step 8: Preparation. Bulges in your clothing shouldn't raise any suspicion. Keep the weapon of choice in a pocket you're sure won't wave in and out of concealment.
Step 9: On entrance of the target's home act normal and friendly. Eventually you'll need to go to the restroom to prepare. Do not touch anything but the doorknob. Feel free to load the weapon in the bathroom. It'll make noise, and might raise suspicion, but it's not likely they'll call the police over it before you exit the bathroom ready. Take off the hoodie and wrap it around the barrel, closing the end. Exit the bathroom having not touched anything there.
Step 10: You're going to have to shoot them before they get a chance to make much noise. If your holding the weapon forward the hoodie should cover the gun enough to still not raise suspicion. If the occupants are near the entrance wait until they're farther away and just tuck the gun underneath your arm. By then they'll be curious why you're holding the hoodie like that. Once they're far enough from the entrance to not see a body (someone else visiting the home that is), walk out of arms reach and shoot the target in the head. If there are other occupants, noise will be made from them. It's already bad enough that the semi-silenced weapon was shot once. You'll have to kill the other person too. If it's around work hours hopefully residents near would be at work or school. If it's during the night you may get attention if you shot more than once.
Step 11: Stay in the home for at least an hour. Do not touch anything. Wipe off the bathroom doorknob on each side with isopropyl rubbing alcohol. Put on your latex gloves, and then put the balaclava on the target's head, with the knife make a cut out where the wound is. If you somehow become a suspect later, this will put a twist on the case. You can plead that he was trying to kill you. Don't get any blood on you. If the police come, answer the door, be friendly and calm.
Step 12: Put the hoodie back on and leave the home.
Step 1: Buy a balaclava.
Step 2: If you don't have a hoodie, get one extra large, you want to keep as little details about you as possible, wearing large clothing can make it slightly harder to judge weight if witnesses come forward. Your pants better not have holes.
Step 3: You need a weapon. A gun is definitely first choice. Killing with anything else has too many variables, especially a knife. Unless if you can handle a knife well, then you need to consider the noise the target and/or others will make when you go to kill. Bring a knife with teeth though, but this isn't for wounding your target.
Step 4: Your clothes need to be washed and dried. Use a round hairbrush to be sure no hairs or skin from your body do not remain on your clothing. Don't use a flat hairbrush, round ones are easier to get hairs out of it. Brush off all articles of clothing while not worn. Brush off each piece one by one, inside-out first. Keep the other clothing away from the brushed clothes so hairs, dry skin, or fingernails don't fall on the brushed clothing. Turn it right-side-out and repeat.
Step 5: This tutorial assumes you know the person's home address. If there are more than one persons living in the home it's suggested you kill all occupants. If you are certain there is a time when the target is alone then you should of course consider killing them at this time.
Step 6: If you don't know the individual personally you need to get to know them. Invite them over to your home for a barbecue with your friends, etc. You need the target to be comfortable with you, that way in the future you can gain access to their home.
Step 7: This step is quite simple, you find an excuse to visit their home. Hopefully if you have known the target long enough he/she will invite you over. Unfortunately this will more than likely be a visit with other people in the home, making it more difficult to murder the target.
Step 8: Preparation. Bulges in your clothing shouldn't raise any suspicion. Keep the weapon of choice in a pocket you're sure won't wave in and out of concealment.
Step 9: On entrance of the target's home act normal and friendly. Eventually you'll need to go to the restroom to prepare. Do not touch anything but the doorknob. Feel free to load the weapon in the bathroom. It'll make noise, and might raise suspicion, but it's not likely they'll call the police over it before you exit the bathroom ready. Take off the hoodie and wrap it around the barrel, closing the end. Exit the bathroom having not touched anything there.
Step 10: You're going to have to shoot them before they get a chance to make much noise. If your holding the weapon forward the hoodie should cover the gun enough to still not raise suspicion. If the occupants are near the entrance wait until they're farther away and just tuck the gun underneath your arm. By then they'll be curious why you're holding the hoodie like that. Once they're far enough from the entrance to not see a body (someone else visiting the home that is), walk out of arms reach and shoot the target in the head. If there are other occupants, noise will be made from them. It's already bad enough that the semi-silenced weapon was shot once. You'll have to kill the other person too. If it's around work hours hopefully residents near would be at work or school. If it's during the night you may get attention if you shot more than once.
Step 11: Stay in the home for at least an hour. Do not touch anything. Wipe off the bathroom doorknob on each side with isopropyl rubbing alcohol. Put on your latex gloves, and then put the balaclava on the target's head, with the knife make a cut out where the wound is. If you somehow become a suspect later, this will put a twist on the case. You can plead that he was trying to kill you. Don't get any blood on you. If the police come, answer the door, be friendly and calm.
Step 12: Put the hoodie back on and leave the home.
