Emperor Pan I
Respected Member
How to play Random Team
Warcraft is a game of one imbalance after another. It is tough to deal with all those hackers and noobs who appear every time you play. It is because all the hackers are always on the other team, and the noobs are always on your team. Therefore, I have taken the time away from busy schedule of reporting people who beat me for hacking, to implore you to read this comprehensive guide to random team games.
1. Choose your race wisely
If your Nightelves, build a Demonhunter and huntresses. In fact, that’s all you need to build. Build a lot of wells, because they will help you win. Don’t build archers, their slow and weak. If your opponents beat you, they’re hackers. Building anything else jeopardizes the ability of the huntresses to win against your enemy.
If your humans, build an archmage, mountain king and rifles followed by priests and sorc. This is so effective, everyone does it. If they don’t they suck. If this strat fails you, your partner failed to pick human and use this strat. If they pick any hero other than an archmage and Mountain king combo, they suck, and possibly hack if they beat you. In fact, they always hack
If your orc, blademaster. You don’t need an army, just use your Blade master to kill their peasants. get hit? Windwalk. Windwalk for fun, it pisses everyone off. If they do it to you, call them a hacker and a noob. If they call you a noob, retaliate with as much obscene language as possible. They must learn to deal with your uber skills with the blademaster. All Orcs need to use a Blademaster, or their suck and are hackers. Forget every unit except for taurens and bloodlust. Orcs don’t need any diversity, the tauren beats anything on the ground. Anything else anyone says is a lie, and their trying to trick you and hack your winning game.
If you’re undead, un summon and leave. Undead doesn’t have any good exploits.
2. You are always right
As soon as the game starts, call everyone in the game a noob. Your right, and you have to remind everyone that. Take control, take your BM and harass. If your opponent gets attacked and asks you to TP, **** him. If he can’t protect himself, you should just go out and creep. If he asks you to harass with him, head in the opposite direction. Try killing some red creeps, because if he is to controlling, he sucks and deserves to lose to the hackers.
If you lose, it’s their fault. If you win, you won a game, not your partner. If someone calls you a noob, they are obvious a sore loser. If they beat you, they hacked. If they kill a unit, their abusing. If they focus your hero, their Nazis. If you aren’t killing anything, just leave your partner, he sucks and you don’t deserve to play with him.
3 The enemy always abuses
It is a well known fact everyone abuses. If his fiends beat your hunts, it isn’t that your hunts aren’t godly, he just abused. If his destroyers beat your taurens, it’s abuse. Also remember to tell him that, repeatedly. For greater affect, call him a noob and a hacker too, since he probably hacked anyways. Finally, before you do anything, remember to turn the caps lock key on for greater affect. They will never try and cheat against you again.
4 All Items belong to you
All drops from creeps belong to you, and only you. Your BM needs that cloak of invisibility. Your DH needs that immolation cloak. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have room. If it can’t fit in your item box, destroy it. It’s yours to destroy anyways. If your partners have an item from creeping, they are thieves. What do we do with thieves? We eliminate them. If he has a Priestess Of The Moon and you have a Tauren chieften, take his strength tome, his agility tome and his intelligence tome, he doesn’t need it. He never needs it. A strength hero is that much more smarter with an intelligence tome.
5 Never communicate with your partner
Never talk to your partner. If he can’t read your mind, he deserves to be left behind. If you want to attack someone, he should know who to attack. If he takes your item, don’t ask him for it, kill him. Never ask him to creep with you, he just takes away the exp that goes to your Blade master, which will be used to make you harass that much better.
6 always turtle
If you turtle, you will allow games to go on for hours, tiring out your opponent for you to win. Build thirty peasants, and fifty towers. Don’t build units, your towers will do what you require. If your partner wants you to help him, he should just follow you. If he is being attacked, he doesn’t have enough towers. If your enemy tries to use the level 6 earthquake acquired by killing your enemy, their hackers. If they do break your towers, call them noobs and losers and tell them your reporting them to blizzard for abuse.
7 Enemy towers are noob
Any form of tower built by the undead or Humans is abuse and should be reported to blizzard. If they get a frost tower, and stop your BM rush, their hackers and they deserve your verbal abuse. Call them everything from fag to noob.
8 Play DOTA
When your enemy sucks, and your partners hack, switch to DOTA. You don’t need to play with the lowlifes of RT palyers, you can simply make a DOTa game, and kick out everyone who is better then you. That is why Blizzard made custom games, to allow you to impose strict rules in a game without any rules. If they go against you, their wrong.
Ok, now that you have the basics, go out and play some RT games.
Warcraft is a game of one imbalance after another. It is tough to deal with all those hackers and noobs who appear every time you play. It is because all the hackers are always on the other team, and the noobs are always on your team. Therefore, I have taken the time away from busy schedule of reporting people who beat me for hacking, to implore you to read this comprehensive guide to random team games.
1. Choose your race wisely
If your Nightelves, build a Demonhunter and huntresses. In fact, that’s all you need to build. Build a lot of wells, because they will help you win. Don’t build archers, their slow and weak. If your opponents beat you, they’re hackers. Building anything else jeopardizes the ability of the huntresses to win against your enemy.
If your humans, build an archmage, mountain king and rifles followed by priests and sorc. This is so effective, everyone does it. If they don’t they suck. If this strat fails you, your partner failed to pick human and use this strat. If they pick any hero other than an archmage and Mountain king combo, they suck, and possibly hack if they beat you. In fact, they always hack
If your orc, blademaster. You don’t need an army, just use your Blade master to kill their peasants. get hit? Windwalk. Windwalk for fun, it pisses everyone off. If they do it to you, call them a hacker and a noob. If they call you a noob, retaliate with as much obscene language as possible. They must learn to deal with your uber skills with the blademaster. All Orcs need to use a Blademaster, or their suck and are hackers. Forget every unit except for taurens and bloodlust. Orcs don’t need any diversity, the tauren beats anything on the ground. Anything else anyone says is a lie, and their trying to trick you and hack your winning game.
If you’re undead, un summon and leave. Undead doesn’t have any good exploits.
2. You are always right
As soon as the game starts, call everyone in the game a noob. Your right, and you have to remind everyone that. Take control, take your BM and harass. If your opponent gets attacked and asks you to TP, **** him. If he can’t protect himself, you should just go out and creep. If he asks you to harass with him, head in the opposite direction. Try killing some red creeps, because if he is to controlling, he sucks and deserves to lose to the hackers.
If you lose, it’s their fault. If you win, you won a game, not your partner. If someone calls you a noob, they are obvious a sore loser. If they beat you, they hacked. If they kill a unit, their abusing. If they focus your hero, their Nazis. If you aren’t killing anything, just leave your partner, he sucks and you don’t deserve to play with him.
3 The enemy always abuses
It is a well known fact everyone abuses. If his fiends beat your hunts, it isn’t that your hunts aren’t godly, he just abused. If his destroyers beat your taurens, it’s abuse. Also remember to tell him that, repeatedly. For greater affect, call him a noob and a hacker too, since he probably hacked anyways. Finally, before you do anything, remember to turn the caps lock key on for greater affect. They will never try and cheat against you again.
4 All Items belong to you
All drops from creeps belong to you, and only you. Your BM needs that cloak of invisibility. Your DH needs that immolation cloak. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have room. If it can’t fit in your item box, destroy it. It’s yours to destroy anyways. If your partners have an item from creeping, they are thieves. What do we do with thieves? We eliminate them. If he has a Priestess Of The Moon and you have a Tauren chieften, take his strength tome, his agility tome and his intelligence tome, he doesn’t need it. He never needs it. A strength hero is that much more smarter with an intelligence tome.
5 Never communicate with your partner
Never talk to your partner. If he can’t read your mind, he deserves to be left behind. If you want to attack someone, he should know who to attack. If he takes your item, don’t ask him for it, kill him. Never ask him to creep with you, he just takes away the exp that goes to your Blade master, which will be used to make you harass that much better.
6 always turtle
If you turtle, you will allow games to go on for hours, tiring out your opponent for you to win. Build thirty peasants, and fifty towers. Don’t build units, your towers will do what you require. If your partner wants you to help him, he should just follow you. If he is being attacked, he doesn’t have enough towers. If your enemy tries to use the level 6 earthquake acquired by killing your enemy, their hackers. If they do break your towers, call them noobs and losers and tell them your reporting them to blizzard for abuse.
7 Enemy towers are noob
Any form of tower built by the undead or Humans is abuse and should be reported to blizzard. If they get a frost tower, and stop your BM rush, their hackers and they deserve your verbal abuse. Call them everything from fag to noob.
8 Play DOTA
When your enemy sucks, and your partners hack, switch to DOTA. You don’t need to play with the lowlifes of RT palyers, you can simply make a DOTa game, and kick out everyone who is better then you. That is why Blizzard made custom games, to allow you to impose strict rules in a game without any rules. If they go against you, their wrong.
Ok, now that you have the basics, go out and play some RT games.
