How can I heal my broken heart?

[Glowy]

Well last weeks my life just changed forever. The girl that i lov emor ethan anything in life i founded out got drunk and cheated on me.... i spent the night in jail the other night due to beating the shit out of him with a baseball bat. I got a summons soon. But now my lif ehas no meaning. I'm not happy nor will i ever be. I am worried about myself. Its been some days and i have not slept,worked,ate.....i'm scared i'm going to die out of depression....i have no one to talk to....i still love her more than anything and i know she lost right now wondering whats wrong with her....the sad thing is i would take her back when she realizes what she wants in life....but i can't eat....i cna't sleep......my eyes are compltety blood shot......i went to work to check my schedule and everyone thought i got my ass kicked becuz how black they are....i can't eat......i tried....but i jsut threw it back up.....the pain is unbearable and i dont know what to do....i'm alone.......my freinds ditched me after i got drunk and started hitting everyone......

How does one go on when life means nothing anymore....that each days comes and goes....that you can't tell the difference between day and night....i'm slowely withering away and i cna't stop it....i can't talk to my mom......i am running off of stackers....only way i can still move....

I don't have anyone to talk to....i just need to know how i can get myself back into gear before i kill myself out of depression....i got a new job lined up next wensday....i haft to be able to work by then or i don't know....i lost 10 pds in the last 3 days.....i've done nothing but work-out,jog,push-ups anything and everything to get the hurt out...to make myself sleep yet i can't.....i miss my baby.....i hate her for what she did....but she only did it becuase she has lost hope for us......but i havn't......and thats why i am like this.....i still hope.....i really need some advice how to shut the pain off....i can't let this ruin my life and health....i don't know how much longer before i pass out from hunger...i think i went anxeria or however...i jsut cna't eat.....i drink nothing but water..i cna't hold anything else down..........i'm a lost soul now...


how does one make them self happy being alone???

 

[Omega_Weapon_]

"how does one make them self happy being alone???"

Well, in all honesty(And personal experiance), you can't really be HAPPY alone. You can only content yourself to living another day, living another month, until you become happy once more.

Oh, and you have my complete condolances for your problems, however little that may mean.

 

[Static]

well, me personally I think love is something that people think they need to find meanin in their lives. Which is some cases might be true. You have lost the love of your live and have now become a lost soul looking for what you have lost.

Being happy alone isn't as hard as it seems. I have been dianosed with depression and didn't know what to do. So I drank went to concerts and all that other stuff but never really helpped as much as I wanted to. So I looked toward education. I started reading books about philosophy, reading more books in general, and am hoping to learn Russian.

Once you start putting your mind on books and the lives of others it somewhat takes your mind off yours. And always try to simulate your mind, wether through reading, video games, or learning a new language. It helped me, maybe it can help you.

EDIT: Omega is right, I have never truely been happy, just pleased at the moment. Its like saying tomorrow prolly wont be bad, wake up go to work read some more and play some video games.

 

[Lwek]

MY GF is, I think has gone through the same thing.
Half a year ago, she cheated on me and I forgave her because, first of all, all she did was ask him out, They live about 4 states apart. So I never really considered me "two timed"
Try cutting yourself. I have yet to try it.

In the end, I want to leave off with one of my quotes:

Drinking is bad

 

[DB]

Originally posted by Master Virus
MY GF is, I think has gone through the same thing.
Half a year ago, she cheated on me and I forgave her because, first of all, all she did was ask him out, They live about 4 states apart. So I never really considered me "two timed"

Eh, I don't think you want to tell people that your GF would rather hook up with some nerd she met on the internet than hook up with you...


Buy a punching bag. It works wonders.

 

[OMGLOLWTFPWN]

Why the hell would you tell him to cut himself? Anyway just find something that you like to do and try to think about everything else that made your life fun besides her.

 

[Thistle]

That really sucks Glowpole. I wish I could help you but I cant, sorry man. hope you feel better soon.

 

[Glowy]

No...my anger is gone......i have no more.....my anger took about 8 people, 6 mailboxes and a cat with me......achohol is bad....i wanted the pain gone but it made it worse.....ther eno need to cut myself....and since i passed out the other day in my backyard....i'm really sunburnt...

well the truth is....technicallly she didn't cheat on me....we were not actually b/f-g/f...we was working our problems out...so i cna't hold that against her....but also...i have been diangnosed with HVp...aka genital warts....i got them form her...becuz shes on the shot.....i ruined in more ways than one....i am currently looking for a way to try my hvp.....but she didn't know she had it but i always knew she gave it to me....but i didn't care becuase i wanted the rest of my life with her....and now shes knows she has it also and probably passed it to that dude....my life is never going to be the same without her.....in soem ways we are bound to each other if we want a happy life.....last night she called me and said that the dude didn't want nothing to do with her...she's feeling so much guilt and she feels so nasty for what shes done.....its jsut if she comes back to me i feel shes doing it becuase she doesn't have a choice....i can't have that...she told me that she didn't want to date the dude...wanted him as a freind...but i know she lying to me abou it.....it tricked her and i told her what he was doing but she didn't realize it till last night...she called me and told me that i was right.....we talked till 3 am..right now she said she needs alone time to think her life out...and i told her that i would give her ..her time and she said she would like for us 2 start seeing each other sometime in the future....but i told her that if she really wants to be with me and work things out..to not do anything that she would regret....and i know she won't allow someone to take advantage over her now that she knows she has hvp......but she jsut wants to hang out with her freinds and be alone for a couple of days...and waiting is the hardest thing on me wondering what she will decide.....until i hear from her i doubt i can eat or sleep until i talk to her again....


i can get used to the shivers and shakes...my rib cages are alrdy exposing them self....i wish i could do somthing.....but love can be the ultimate killer of all....and i am entrapped until she forgives herself and her mistakes....

 

[Beer $lut]

Don't get all depressed. Especially over a girl. Theres better things in life. Just do things you really really love to do to get out of depression. And it is possible to be happy alone.

 

[Lwek]

Originally posted by Dark Blade
Eh, I don't think you want to tell people that your GF would rather hook up with some nerd she met on the internet than hook up with you...


Buy a punching bag. It works wonders.

You don't even know the whole story. She thought I was cheating on her because I went to a movie with 3 girls. Don't assume things. This thread is not about me, so I won't talk about it.

I have to agree with you and add that Love is really Mysterious.
Love is the ultimate killer, but also, Love is also the ultimate revival.

 

[raDixGhost]

"got drunk and cheated on me."

what else do you expect, when someone gets drunks stuff happens. Its not really her or anyones fault, and if you do love her that much you should give her another chance. A relationship is about giving and recieving, sometimes you just have to accept some crap for the relationship to be okay.

 

[Glowy]

I do accept it. I don't hate her or even mad at her.....the point is...she hates herself...she is never going to be the same after this...becuz guilt is going to control her...i havn't gave hope on her yet...

I just hope she can forgive herself...i'm not like most guys...i can understad anything if given the time to think about it...

I do feel some what better jsut being able to tell someone...

my worse fear is being alone....i can't be happy alone...thats why i'm always partying or somthing...

but i will gladly except her back...i jsut got to make sure she coming back to me for the right reasons.....i don't know if she will ever forgive herself.

She has had a life harder than anyone i ever knew...she's been threw it all..been raped,beaten, cheated everything....and yet...she somehow still stands. Still goes on...I respect that in her how strong she is but i have my doubts about this...she made a mistake...she hurt me...i don't know if she can do it or not...

i've tried reading, playing games...no matter what i do i can't concentrate...i can't watch tv..i jsut sit and stare at the wall....theres nothing i love more than being with her...talking to her..

 

[a1steaksauce]

well i wrote half this b4 u posted last message so half of it u already talked bout :edit

what have u beent rying to eat?like greasy stuff?try a salad or cracker casue they are easy to keep down.but u do gotta eat casue if all u been havin in you is water the nyou been washing out all the other important minerals and vitamin.and working out getting swetty isnt helpin either.though working is all i felt like doing when i had relationship problems going on.

so all ic an say is try and get lost in sum positive activity and try to eat stuffs.

 

[Diniano]

Honestly, you might want to see a doctor. Lots of this could just be chemical shit, too.

You know she hurt you, but if she wasn't lying to you - shes probably just as hurt as you are. Forgiving her might be the best option.

Also, like Radixghost said - she was drunk. When you're drunk, things happen. You've probably done stupid things when you were drunk.. we all have. She might've done worse, but it's not her fault entirely, I don't think.

It's possible to be happy alone, even then, if things between you and her get worse, or you completely break up, then you can always take a break and date again with another.

But really, see a doctor. It could really help ya out.

 

[Diniano]

Originally posted by Niedar
Have you been reading his posts? He said he was not mad at her and would accept her back but she has not forgiven herself yet.

Yeah. Exactly. He said he would, not that he has. IMO, he should keep trying.

 

[DigitalElite]

Well...Well...Well...Let's see, you really need to eat buddy, that is essential. Drinking only water is fine, but you gotta eat. Also, is hvp curable? If it is, you should both be treated for it. If not, dont know what to tell you. You did the right thing on letting her think things through, but you need to hang out with friends, and such, carry on with your life, as if she never was part of it, that way if she does come back, she will improve your life, and if she doesn't (which I doubt, how can a girl not like you!?) then your life wont change in the slightest. But hell, I have never experienced anything like that, so my advice may be bullshit. I am only trying to help

 

[Glowy]

My mom thinks i'm on drugs again....every morning shes caught me sitting in the living room...and i never wake up early...i can't tell her becuz me and kristi are sopose to bne secret..our relationship alone is going to be tough....i don't think there is a cure for hvp...but this ben-mann treatment i've been reading about says that it boosts up your immune system to the point that you become immune to the virus...

I cna't afford to go see a doctor....I gave my last 1 grand to her to pay here bills for the next few months while she is at college.

all i know is it's not up to me to decide our fate its hers. While she will be out with her freinds trying to havea lil fun and clear her mind i can't. I'll be waiting and i doubt nothing going to change until i find out whats going o happen..

I never woulda thought that heart brakes can lead you to eating disorders...but i jsut tried eating a pnut butter cracker and started gaggin it back up. I might have to see counsiling for this..becuase i only got 4 more stacker 3's left then i don't know what imma going to do.

I can't go out and have fun. I cna't hang out with freinds....i turn my rage ,betrayel and hatred for whats happening on them. Now i got a shitload of fines to pay. And see i did somthing i don't know if she'll ever forgive me for....the night when i found out i got so drunk and i called her and left 30 voicemails. And in each one i screamed how much i hated her and that she an ugly pos and everything mean i could think of to make her feel how i was......I really wish i could change it....but i said more hateful things in my life that night....i snapped....thats the 2nd time i've snapped.

I one of those people that bottle anger and hatred than unleash it in full fury when i cna't hold it back any longer....last time i snapped was when i beat my stepdad with my bat. Twice i've been to jail now.....


I woulda killed that guy if his roommate didn't hit me in the head with a peice of wood or somthing...don't remeber.....but i have scared her really bad.....

but the only thing good thats came out of this is that i can finally see clearly now....i can finally provide her with what she wants in a relationship.....in 1 night i changed mor ethan in 2 years we was together......I know now that i can make her the happiest person in the world....but only if she can conquer her innner demons now.


The thing that hurt the most was she told me 1 year ago that I would be her last. She has been mine. But i am not her last now.......and that hurts so much......and i don't know if i will ever be able to do anything with er for a long time becuz of this...i gotta figure out how to get over it....

 

[IDefy]

Originally posted by Dark Blade
Buy a punching bag. It works wonders.

Yes they do.

Glow, it would suck to be cheated on, but did you even bother to ask her if she was even aware that she was drunk/possibly taken advantage of? The guy either way deserved the beeting but even so, was it really worth going to jail for? Talk to her sometime and try to get the whole truth, even if she is lying and you know it, you can move on. "Knock, and the door will be opened."

 

[Kao]

Glow.....there are some things that you just can't get THAT worked up over. Would you take a bullet for her? Would she for you?

If she was drunk and taken advantage of, I know the situation, but I'm not in your shoes.

Savy (my gf) was at a girls-only (parents are nazis) and got drunk. She figured itd be fine, because there no guys there. Then the last thing she remembers is this guy named Dave Dalton walking down the stairs (seeing her laying in bed, really wasted) and said "Hey Sweetie". She woke up that morning with no pants on, and dave was completly naked. She wasn't raped as far as she knows, but this is *kind* of like your situation. You can't take your anger out on people. If you do, call me up, we can bomb something together

 

[aphextwin]

i think u need a "vacation" to stay away from reality for a while brad..... no drugs :0