Goons..

[thegrim_reaper]

please someone tell me how the protoss get all those crippled zealots.. i can imagin one way
*judicator walks in on zealot in his quarters*
zealot: why hello judicator what do i ow this great honor?
judicator: oh i was just wondering if you had that battle status report..
zealot: why of course judicator its on my drawer..
*zealot turns around*
*judicator takes out shovell and whacks zealot in the legs thus rendering them useless*
zealot: WHAT TREACHORY IS THIS??!?!?
judicator: sorry but we were running short on dragoons someones massing them on a money map
zealot: my legs.. oh god my legs..
judicator: ok lets get that upper body sawn off and get you in your brand spankin new dragoon armour eh, eh??
zealot: oh god my legs...
*judicator drags soon to be dragoon out of quarters dragging blood as he goes*
thats my theory how about yours

 

[CerebralChain]

I didn't know the Protoss had to cut off their legs to get into a Dragoon o.0

 

[Renzokuken]

LMFAO. That's some funny shite man. I look forward to hearing more stories such as these...

That's prolly what Aldaris would've done...seriously, he's a jackass.

 

[ReiGn]

ROFL nice story :rollie

I guess when zealots die or get severely injured in battle they turn them into goons. much like what they did to fenix when he died.

 

[Renzokuken]

Off-topic. But the way Fenix died isn't the way i would like to die. His PSI-Blades basically ran out of juice - what bad luck. I'd prefer to die in the heat of a huge battle, while destroying Kerrigan, or something of astronomical proportions...

But that's just me

 

[RyanXWing]

I cant beleive they killed Fenix... He was awesome...

:rofl2 that was hilarious, ok how about how two teplars forming an archon?

"Ok now lets fly towards each other *they run into each other* OW DAMN IT THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS!"

 

[Renzokuken]

They could learn 'Fusion Dance Lessons', like DBZ and dance about in unison then merge

What if the two templars that merged, both held some control over the Archon. One turns left at the wrong time and the Archon falls over. Now that'd be funny. Or it'd roll around because it is essentially a ball of psionic energy.

PLAY BASKETBALL WITH AN ARCHON!!!11!

 

[Darkmatter]

Amusing. However, if they fused, we'd have a Zealgoon with double fire and a close range attack, and about 350 HP. ^_^;;


My guess is they are so energized during battle that when they swing they shank their fellow Zealots.


Zealot 1: For Auir!
Zealot 2: I long for combat!
Zealot 3: *attacking random protross* DIE!!!
Zealot 3 cleaves Zealot 2 in half.
Zealot 2: no more combat.....
Zealot 1: You need more practice, young protoss.
Zealot 2 is made into a Dragoon.
Zealot 2: Ok, now you DIE!!!!!
Zealot 2 fires phase distrupter as he laughs, destroying Zealot 3.
Zealot 3 dies and Zealot 2 is killed by a Siege Tank only hours later.

^_~

 

[Visions of Khas]

Hahaha, that's some funnah shtuff.

Those Templar warriors who fall in combat may volenteer to house their bodies within Dragoon walkers. Essence translators, I believe, hep the fallen warrior bond his or her spirit to the cold shell, and complete the transition through the Khala's disciplines. I do not think dead Protoss can be brought back to life, but I wouldn't doubt that the Protoss have some amazing medical technologies that can resussitate dying Protoss.

 

[Trojan]

goons dont sound ne thing like a zealot and dont even look alike dont know where u got that hypothesis from :-/

 

[Visions of Khas]

Well, the manual sort of says so.

 

[Biske]

How bout this:

2 High Templar are in battle, both have used out their psionic powers, so are virtually useless. A conversation insues.....
Templar 1 = Nark
Templar 2 = Zal

Zal: ....soo....whats up?
Nark:....not much, not much.
Zal: How's the kids?
Nark: Doin good, practicing the Khala, learning to wield their psionic blades....broke one of my vases the other day in the house..
Zal: hahah, kids will be kids.
Nark: Yeah, guess so.
Zal: ...*cough*...
Nark:....?
Zal: Our Zealot Division's doing good, wouldn'y ya say?
Nark: Eh, yeah, I guess.
Zal: So, uh, you all outta juice?
Nark: Yup, just let out one hella storm, ripped 50 Lings apart, how bout you?
Zal: Oh, the same...the same.
Nark:....
Zal:....so....wanna....merge?
Nark:....excuse me?
Zal: Wanna merge?
Nark: Um, dude, I don't swing that way, just get -
Zal: No, I mean, form an Archon!
Nark: Step the hell away from me, or so help me I'll scream rape!
Zal: Dude, come on, we're useless standing here! MERGE WITH ME!
Nark: BACK! Get the hell away from my back side, ******!
Zal: God Bless, MERGE!
*Zal jumps on Narks Back, force merge*
*5 minutes later*
Zalark: Son of a....you bastard!
Zalark: Eh, I don't know, I kinda like it!
Zalark: All my years of training, that was my finest hour *** hole!
Zalark: Get over yourself, now we're supper powerful!
Zalark: Like hell we are, I'll show you super powerful!
*punches with right arm*
Zalark: Two can play this game!
*punches with left arm*
*Rolls down on ground, poppin the crap outta himself*

 

[Visions of Khas]

*falls onto floor*

*commences roflmao*

 

[thegrim_reaper]

LOL good to see people making their own stories
hey i got one dark archon.. where do their swords go i got a theory
2 dark templars are sitting by a photon bored out of their mind
dark temp 1: so bored....
dark temp 2: same... god there hasnt been an attack in hours
dark temp 1: i dont know that i want to be attacked again.. last time that happened it was a zergling rush and a templar killed about half of us..
dark temp 2: good point good point.. god i'de hate to write that letter
dark temp 1: ya so would i... im sorry ms. zealot but your son was killed with friendly fire from a high templar.. but because the high templar was such a valuable asset to our army we didnt do jack.. well send him home in a casket.. i wouldnt look in side.. seriously its disgusting....
dark temp 2: huh whats that?
dark temp 1: i didn't say anything
dark temp 2: not you jackass i was talking to the commander
dark temp 1: oh.. ok *sits on photon and photon jumps up thinking its being attacked and starts shooting at him, then realizes its only a dt*
dark temp 1: OWWW DAMN IT!!!
dark temp 2: are you just about done the commander says he needs us to form into a dark archon..
dark temp 1: ok ok lets get this over with..
*dark temp 1 starts walking to dark temp 2, dark temp 1 lifts up sword at last moment and hits dark temp 2 in the eye before dark temp 2 has a chance to do anything they merge*
dark temp 1: WOW THE POWER THIS IS AWESOME!!!
dark temp 2: good god my eye
dark temp 1: comon lets go!
dark temp 2: god, jackass i cant see
* they trip over eachother*
dark temp 1: ahh i cant get up with these shields
dark temp 1 and 2 spin around on the ground till a zealot comes over and try's to lift him up with no succes
zealot 1: commander what should i do with him
commander: push him into enemy territory
zealot 1: alone sir??
commander: yes then get the hell out will use him as a scout.. considering thats all hes good at..
TO BE CONTINUED

 

[Renzokuken]

LMFAO, DT1 is a jackass, he stabbed him in the eye!!!

Keep 'em coming grim

 

[Darkmatter]

LOL good to see people making their own stories
hey i got one dark archon.. where do their swords go i got a theory
2 dark templars are sitting by a photon bored out of their mind
dark temp 1: so bored....
dark temp 2: same... god there hasnt been an attack in hours
dark temp 1: i dont know that i want to be attacked again.. last time that happened it was a zergling rush and a templar killed about half of us..
dark temp 2: good point good point.. god i'de hate to write that letter
dark temp 1: ya so would i... im sorry ms. zealot but your son was killed with friendly fire from a high templar.. but because the high templar was such a valuable asset to our army we didnt do jack.. well send him home in a casket.. i wouldnt look in side.. seriously its disgusting....
dark temp 2: huh whats that?
dark temp 1: i didn't say anything
dark temp 2: not you jackass i was talking to the commander
dark temp 1: oh.. ok *sits on photon and photon jumps up thinking its being attacked and starts shooting at him, then realizes its only a dt*
dark temp 1: OWWW DAMN IT!!!
dark temp 2: are you just about done the commander says he needs us to form into a dark archon..
dark temp 1: ok ok lets get this over with..
*dark temp 1 starts walking to dark temp 2, dark temp 1 lifts up sword at last moment and hits dark temp 2 in the eye before dark temp 2 has a chance to do anything they merge*
dark temp 1: WOW THE POWER THIS IS AWESOME!!!
dark temp 2: good god my eye
dark temp 1: comon lets go!
dark temp 2: god, jackass i cant see
* they trip over eachother*
dark temp 1: ahh i cant get up with these shields
dark temp 1 and 2 spin around on the ground till a zealot comes over and try's to lift him up with no succes
zealot 1: commander what should i do with him
commander: push him into enemy territory
zealot 1: alone sir??
commander: yes then get the hell out will use him as a scout.. considering thats all hes good at..
TO BE CONTINUED

That was awesome dude. Kudos to you.


I say we have a foficial thread for ''Crazy SC Stories'' because this is quite funny in my opinion, and could make a lot of people laugh and post in it if it gets popular enough.

 

[thegrim_reaper]

a few notes before i continue the story above such as i think that would be a great plan darkmatter,i think if we get this popular enough... but who knows, anyway.. here it goes
note: dark archon side 1 means dark templar 1 and dark archon side 2 goes for dark templar side 2

CONTINUATION OF STORY ABOVE
zealot 1: yes sir ill roll him out into the enemies base.. where do you want him
commander: um.. zerg base bottem of the map, er world
zealot 1: FOR AIUR!!
zealot 1: sorry bout this!!
*zealot 1 kicks dark archon into zerg base*
*while flying twoards the zerg base dark archon starts screaming and zealot 1 returns to the post*
*dark archon flies into zerg base and whacks a hatchery making a hole in it and crashes into a mineral field*
dark archon: holy crap my head... oh man..
*hacthery collapses and crushes the larvae
dark archon: oops hehehe didnt do it!!
protoss comander: YOU FOOL!!! your sitting right next to a drone MIND CONTROL HIM!!!
dark archon: ok ok ok..
*one side raises up hand*
dark archon side 1: you fool i need your hand to
dark archon side 2: listen if i dont hold my head i think my eyes gonna fall out ok?? that impact with the hachery didnt do me any good
dark archon side 1: ok ok ill just try the spell anyway
*the one dark archon tries doing the spell*
zerg and protoss commander in unisen: WHAT THE HELL
*drone starts wondering all over the place randomly*
protoss commander: interesting.. it seems my dark archon was to stupid to completely cast the mind control spell so it did half.. then the half mind controlled drone was mixed with messages of the swarm and the khala.. then the drone was drivin insane by the mixed messaging
dark archon: man we really screwed up didnt we..
protoss commander: HELL YA YOU DID
zerg commander: come foolish dark archon JOIN THE SWARM
dark archon: miiight as well because WE cant get UP!!
zerg commander: no problem ill send a queen and an overlord.. the queen wil infest you and the overlord will pick you up
dark archon side 1: *sigh* guess i sort of have to i mean its either that or death and then infestation, with this at least ill get SOME free will
dark archon side 2: I SHALL NEVER GIVE INTO THE ZERG NEVVVEEERRR!!!
*queen comes over and infestests side 1*
dark archon side 2: are you ok
dark archon side 1: FOR THE SWARM
dark archon side 2: you mean aiur..
dark archon side 1: no i mean SWARM
dark archon side 2: ah crap
zerg commander: hurry all of our zerg forces we shall make a decisive strike on the protoss main command point
dark archon side 2: oh great WHY DOES THIS SHIT ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?!?!?

TO BE CONTINUED

 

[aphextwin]

god its just a game...... nothing else happens to the units except for killing and building.....

 

[Biske]

....kill joy.

 

[thegrim_reaper]

ya cant you just except the fact that were having fun here and this is a free country so if you dont like it go away
*AHEM*
now to continue the story above (just got a new idea *

we join our main character* (half infested dark archon)
on an assault to their old base
dark archon side 2: great now im stuck in some overlord against my old comrads, what the hell could be worse
*starts raining in the overlord*
dark archon side 2: didnt see that coming...
*overlord drops them onto solid ground*
dark archon side 2: hmmph at least im not flying in a giant BUG anymore
dark archon side 1: shutup do not insault the mighty overlords!!
dark archon side 2: mighty ove- WHAT?!?! THEY ARE FREAKIN FLYING BUGS
dark archon side 1: no despite popular beliefe the overlords are realtively peacefull creatures that just want to be left alone and were brainwashed by the zerg
*sign pops up that says " the more you know!!!"
dark archon side 2: not only is he infested... BUT HE'S A FRIGGIN MORON TO!!
dark archon side 1: me no moron!!
dark archon side 2: OK THATS IT SCREW MY EYE IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!!
dark archon side 1: not if i KICK MY ASS FIRST
dark archon side 2: BE MY GUEST
*dark archon side 1 begins beating itself*
dark archon side 1: HAD ENOUGH
dark archon side 2: no keep blugioning yourself its friggin hilarious
*after about 10 minutes of dark archon side 1 beating itself it finally passes out*
dark archon side 2: great now half of me is passed out and i can barely move
*starts moving slowely then works up fast pace on creep
dark archon side 2: well this isnt so bad.. i guess, but i wouldnt mind slowing down
*keeps moving at currrent pace*
dark archon side 2: ok this is starting to get annoying..
*keeps moving*
dark achon side 2: AWWW CRAP I CANT SLOW DOWN
*crashes into an ultralisk, ultra lisk crashes into ten hydra, the hydra then crash into the zerglings killing the whole strike force

4 hours later
dark templar 2: aww man my head what happened
protoss commander: well the force of crashing into that ultra at such high speed split you guys apart.. by the way we had to fix up your eye to, what happened to that thing
dark templar 2: you dont want to know
protoss commander: well anyway since you bassicly destroyed that entire zerg strike force, we have a gift for you
dark templar 2: what is it
protoss commander: well come and see
*dark templar follows the commander over to a room
protoss commander: well we thought you might be a little angry at someone.. *cough dark templar 1 *cough* so we made you a hullicination for you to um.. you know
dark templar 2: kill?
protoss commander: well i mean slave but ya i guess you could do that to
dark templar 2: thanks
*slashes head off of hullicination*
THE END

* i may return to this later if someone requests it *