Here are a few....
Here are a few....
1)
'I like cinnimon rolls, but I don't always have time to make a pan. That's why I wish they would sell cinnimon roll incense. After all I'd rather light a stick and have my roommate wake up with false hopes.' - Mitch Hedberg
2)
'When you go to a restaurant on the weekends and it's busy they start a waiting list. They start calling out names, they say "Dufrane, party of two. Dufrane, party of two." And if no one answers they'll say their name again. "Dufrane, party of two, Dufrane, party of two." But then if no one answers they'll just go right on to the next name. "Bush, party of three." Yeah, what happened to the Dufranes. No one seems to give a sh*t. Who can eat at a time like this - people are missing. You ****ers are selfish....the Dufranes are in someone's trunk right now, with duct take over their mouths, and they're hungry. Bush, search party of three, you can eat when you find the Dufranes.' - Mitch Hedberg
3)
a grasshopper walks into a bar and asks for a beer. the bartender says: "you have the same name as the beer!" and the grasshopper says: "you mean Dale?" - My Dad's Friend
