Funny post in WoW forums

[Stryder]

Hi all, I just thought I would write up a quick guide to instance group. Often times it is hard to decide what members offer what skills. I have run the Deadmines at least 3 times, so I feel I am qualified to make this guide.

So. Here we go.

Druid: Druids are awesome additions to parties, they can heal themselves and tank in bear form. But not all druids play the most efficient way. I ask all my druids to open a fight by using Moonfire at least 7 times, then, they should shift into cat form to attack.

Rare druids: Feral combat druids. These are even stronger than the normal kind.

Where to find druids. Most druids like to hide out in hidden forests or island zones. Also, I suspect the wandering tigers in Hillsbrad are druids.

Hunter: Hunters are a keystone group class. They add dmg without adding hate. If you get a hunter, you don't really need to worry about tanking for them thanks to Feign Death. Other important abilities that a hunter should always use are. Explosive trap, Scattershot, and Aspect of Cheetah.

Rare Hunters: Melee hunters. This build is sketchy, but in an instance, its the best kind.

Where to find Hunters: Just do a shout offering free meat, then prepare to club one as it comes running.

Mage: Mages are nice additions to a group. They do great quick dmg, and with Frost Nova, they can avoid death. Always ask your mage to use Pyroblast, Fireball, Fire Blast, Blastwave, then Frostnova first thing. After that, the rest of the fight should be easy.

Rare Mages: Dampen Magic mages. This spell kicks butt, and all mages should always cast it first.

Where to find mages: Offer 50 gold for a teleport IF, and then cancel after you find a mage.

Paladin: Paladins are kind of lackluster in groups. Don't ever invite a paladin unless they plan to main heal. When in a group the paladin should always cast Blessing of Freedom on all members. Devotion aura isn't as needed in a group, because the paladin doesn't need the armor as much. Also, Divine Intervention should be used when anyone takes more than 400 points of damage.

Rare Paladins: Polearm paladins. These paladins are hard to find, but you should always invite them into your party without question.

Where to find Paladins: Ask the zone how much mana "Summon Warhorse" costs, then, pick and choose.

Priest: Priests are inspired group members, no group should be without a priest. PW:F and PW:S make fights easy. And thanks to the shadow tree your priest can do more dmg than a mage while keeping everyone alive and baking a cake. Also, if a priest takes agro, they can Fade, laugh and keep casting those 2000 hp heals at the start of a fight.

Rare priests: It is well thought that after level 50, priests sometime undergo a pupa state which converts them into holy. Thusly, a holy priest before 40 is considered an act of god.

Where to find priests: Priests are rare and worth bonus points. They are usually found behind walls, underneath the floor, or down a -1 world warp pipe.

Rogue: Rogues are another option for dmg in your parties. Rogues are best used when fighting bosses, or taking out heavily armored opponents. Never let a rogue go after a caster, because doing so would certainly mean doom. Also, Rupture is the best combat ability in the game.

Rare rogues. Error handling expression 1/0. Does not exist.

Where to find rogues. You can find rogues in many places, underneath your shoe, hanging on your leg, and at any given time there are 17 rogues behind any given PC cloth user in the game.

Shaman: Who wouldn't want a shaman. They can heal, tank, pull, DD, stun, slow, sleep, confuse, paralyze, bulbasaur, and make pizza. Always have your shamans lay bunch of Strength of Earth Totem, and Searing Totems. Heck, the more totems the better.

Rare shamans. Restoration shamans. You should never invite these shamans, because shamans were not meant to be a support class.

Where to find shamans. Any wolf you see is a shaman. If for some reason its dancing, do not invite them, for this is a normal mating ritual, and interrupting it can lead to social unrest.

Warlock: Warlocks are the pet classes of WoW. A warlock will always want to summon his pet which you should allow. The best pet for instances is Felhunter. While the pet attacks make sure that the warlock is only casting shadowbolts or Rain of Fire. Also, Warlock pets should be in agressive since you want to kill things.

Rare Warlocks: Warlocks who use DOT spells. I am not exactly sure what a DOT is, isn't that some kind of breakfast cereal.

Where to find Warlocks: Warlocks are easily spotted sitting on a pile of soulstones, laughing insanely and grumbling about "my precious"

Warrior: Warriors are great tanks and good dmg dealers. Always have a warrior in your group to use Sunder Armor and Hamstring. Also, make sure that your warrior charges into every room in the instance to get that starting rage.

Rare Warriors. Anyway warrior who is standing alive in contested territory is rare, make sure you grab them.

Where to find warriors: 7/10s of all corpses are warriors. If you are looking for an alive one, then look for any person carrying a picket sign and saying something about "hell no we won't go"

And so ends my guide. I hope that these instructions will help you create the party of your dreams. Now if you excuse me, I am going on a another Van Cleef run. I think we might actually beat Mr. Smite tonight.

Cheers.

Edit. Formatting.

Kinda funny post I might add.

 

[Ntrik_]

haha that was pretty funny, nice find stryder.

 

[dP]

pretty funny.

 

[Beer $lut]

That was a sad attempt at getting attention on the forums. "I have run the Deadmines at least 3 times, so I feel I am qualified to make this guide." No you're not.

 

[Stryder]

That was a sad attempt at getting attention on the forums. "I have run the Deadmines at least 3 times, so I feel I am qualified to make this guide." No you're not.

True, it was a "joke" post, but he did post some stuff that only a knowledgeable player would know.

 

[TheNamelessYam]

pretty damn funny

only problem is all his info on druids is complete bullshit. 7 moonfires would take your mana straight to HELL. not to mention he missed faerie fire. plus cat form and feral druids at all are garbage post 40. TOTAL garbage. i was convinced dire bear form would rock if i put lots of talents in it and concentrated on str+int+stm on my druid, but i was so terribly wrong.

 

[Khull]

All the garbage he said about Warriors...


I hate him.

Even if it was ment to be funny.

"7/10ths of all corpses..." pfft yea sure...

 

[Starfish]

hahaha nice one xD

only problem is all his info on druids is complete bullshit

Thanks Sherlock, the whole article is BS.

 

[BluddLuSt4Life]

Thanks Sherlock, the whole article is BS.

Except the part about rogues being everywhere. And rupture sucking.

I wouldnt be able to find an instance group to save my life if I wasn't such a nice guy =P

 

[Jenny]

Yeah. There's more Paladins then Rogues. Rogues are right behind them, though. I'll bet.


HELL NO, WE WON'T GO! HELL NO, WE WON'T GO!

 

[BluddLuSt4Life]

There are almost as many shamans, but everyone wants a shaman =|

 

[Starfish]

and at any given time there are 17 rogues behind any given PC cloth user in the game.

hahahahaha xD

 

[Samsara]

Classes
Rogue 3116
Hunter 2450
Warrior 2262
Priest 1830
Mage 1731
Warlock 1552
Paladin 1550
Shaman 1307
Druid 1244

Not as much as you thought

 

[BluddLuSt4Life]

Warrior 2262

loolollll

I don't believe it.

 

[-=@Driphter@=-]

Here's the overall population statistics : http://wowcensus.com/overall_stats.php

And here's Skull Crusher's : http://wowcensus.com/realm_stats.php?realm=skullcrusher

And the reason there aren't as many paladins as you thought there were, Samsara, is because the statistics that you posted were overall. Because paladin are only a selectable class on the alliance side, there's going to be approximately half the expected population.

 

[Nissenoll]

Originally Posted by WoW Rankings
Classes
Rogue 3116
Hunter 2450
Warrior 2262
Priest 1830
Mage 1731
Warlock 1552
Paladin 1550
Shaman 1307
Druid 1244

Not as much as you thought

put shaman and pally together, they will both be on top if you watch faction wise...

EDIT: sorry I was gay to read all posts but the one above mine where it says exactly (or almost) what I just stated.

 

[ThRaShEd]

funny stuff..
but um ya theres way to many rogues the pally use to b the "flavor of the month" as my good friend andy once said but now it appears every1 wants a rogue..

and ya i HATE warriors.. i wouldnt wanna ever make one!