Gedrin
Member!
I recently acquired a monkey in a trade, I gave up a very valuable rune engraved sigil and the souls of three wicked Norwegian goat farmers who were held within.
Since this was quite a trophy I made sure that this was no regular primate. His name was that of an ancient prophet from the far off lands of the sunken continent that used to be where the Bermuda triangle now is. It is said that every 1,000 years from the void this reincarnated spirit finds a form again in this world and goes forth to do the bidding of an unknown master.
Fred was not this being, but he did indeed have some pretty cool powers. Fred used to be a psychiatrists monkey, in fact he came from a long line of psychiatrists monkeys. Believe it or not every psychiatrist has to have one, it's just the way the business is run. If you've never seen one in a psychiatrists office that’s because they're usually somewhere else doing whatever monkeys do when they are not training high school gym teachers.
There are a few psychiatrists who because of allergy cannot own a monkey, and they are given special exemptions, but they can never become truly great psychiatrists. If you are reading this as a psychiatrist and do not have a monkey or an exemption you are unfortunately going to have to be removed from your job.
Anyway back to why I started this post. Fred, as he likes to be called inherited the knowledge of his particular owner after a tragic accident involving powdered milk, a Newton’s cradle, and an electromagnetic field fluctuation caused by a pair of socks falling on to a microwave containing a spoon that had been owned by both former president Roosevelts which made the electromagnetic field more presidential than most which lead to the accident.
So now without a psychiatrist Fred has passed from owner to owner and now seeks to offer his free services to the fair people of this forum. Fred assures me that he is sorely needed here. So you post your problems, and Fred will attempt to solve them as only a monkey psychiatrist can.
Since this was quite a trophy I made sure that this was no regular primate. His name was that of an ancient prophet from the far off lands of the sunken continent that used to be where the Bermuda triangle now is. It is said that every 1,000 years from the void this reincarnated spirit finds a form again in this world and goes forth to do the bidding of an unknown master.
Fred was not this being, but he did indeed have some pretty cool powers. Fred used to be a psychiatrists monkey, in fact he came from a long line of psychiatrists monkeys. Believe it or not every psychiatrist has to have one, it's just the way the business is run. If you've never seen one in a psychiatrists office that’s because they're usually somewhere else doing whatever monkeys do when they are not training high school gym teachers.
There are a few psychiatrists who because of allergy cannot own a monkey, and they are given special exemptions, but they can never become truly great psychiatrists. If you are reading this as a psychiatrist and do not have a monkey or an exemption you are unfortunately going to have to be removed from your job.
Anyway back to why I started this post. Fred, as he likes to be called inherited the knowledge of his particular owner after a tragic accident involving powdered milk, a Newton’s cradle, and an electromagnetic field fluctuation caused by a pair of socks falling on to a microwave containing a spoon that had been owned by both former president Roosevelts which made the electromagnetic field more presidential than most which lead to the accident.
So now without a psychiatrist Fred has passed from owner to owner and now seeks to offer his free services to the fair people of this forum. Fred assures me that he is sorely needed here. So you post your problems, and Fred will attempt to solve them as only a monkey psychiatrist can.
